Dark Reflections
by catchastar101
Summary: They had destroyed eachother in the past. Now they have a chance to build one another back up. Will they be able to still their dark desires? Serena/Darien OOC
1. Chapter 1

Dark Reflections

The mirror reflected back a face she no longer recognized. The dark circles under her eyes were a reminder of the darkness inside her heart.

She sighed as she scrutinized the damage. Her hair was a tangled mess and her eyes were bloodshot. She could still taste the alcohol deep in her throat.

She opened the bottle of asprin and popped several pills into her mouth. A cool glass of water eased the pills down.

She glanced at the nearby clock; the bright red numbers 4:00pm stood against its face.

"Ugh." Serena exclaimed.

Her head pounded as she made her way to the kitchen. She poured herself a generous cup of coffee and lit up a cigarette from her near empty pack. Though she had made a fortune as the lead singer of her band, "White Rabbit" her apartment was near bare. Money had never meant much to her. Nothing actually mattered much to her anymore. Perhaps that was the reason she was who she had become; a "Star" who was intentionally burning herself out.

Thinking back to the previous night, she tried to remember as much as she could. She had arrived already half smashed. There had been a lot of people, but only a handful that she had known. Images and faces blurred together as she strained to remember.

"Fuck it." She exclaimed, refusing to continue trying to remember.

Grabbing the remote she turned on the television and began to flip through the channels. She stopped surfing once she reached a local news channel. Taking a generous drag from her smoke she snuffed it out in a nearby ashtray before lighting up another.

"Fans across town are going crazy for tickets." The newsman's voice sounded from the screen.

"That's right. White Rabbit announced a special concert for their hometown of Tokyo. Tickets went on sale just a few hours ago and already they are becoming hard to find." The newswoman's sounded.

Serena clicked off the television abruptly. A deep frown settled on her features, and she hastily grabbed her cell phone.

Raye and Mina were shopping when the shrill sound of Raye's cell rang out. She grabbed the irritating device from her purse and rolled her eyes when the display lit up with "Serena". She quickly glanced at Mina who gave a sympathetic smile.

"Hello." Raye sounded as she answered.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Serena's voice yelled.

Raye pulled the phone from her ear as Serena began to shout from the other end.

"It wasn't MY idea! What do you want ME to do about it?" Raye shouted back.

"FIX IT!"

Raye slammed the phone shut.

"I'm guessing she found out about the concert." Mina said without glancing up at Raye from the clothing rack.

"Yep."

Across town…..

"I'm NOT doing it Luna!" Serena whinned to her agent.

"Too late now Serena. Tickets are already sold." Luna calmly replied. She was used to Serena's rants, and knew that no matter how badly she complained she would eventually get over it.

"How could you do this? You didn't even ask me!"

"Of course not. You would have said no way."

"You're damn right."

Luna sighed as she looked up at her most successful client. The girl looked awful. Dark circles under her blue eyes screamed of her lack of sleep.

"Look Serena. This concert is going to happen. You're going to give a fabulous performance, we'll make a lot of money and then it will all be over."

Serena bit down on her bottom lip to still the rush of curses that threatened to spill. As much as she hated it, she knew there was nothing she could do.

"Fine."

"Good. Now for the bad news."

"What could possibly be worse Luna?"

"There's going to be another headliner that night."

"Who?" Serena asked carefully.

"Endymion."

The string of curses that followed could be heard throughout the building.

She was beyond pissed. Her every move seethed with her anger. She entered her apartment and slammed the door behind her. She couldn't believe this was happening. She stalked to her bathroom and jerked open the medicine cabinet. She shuffled around the numerous bottles until she found what she was looking for.

Flipping off the cap she poured several of the pills into her hand. Quickly swallowing them she sighed with relief. She looked down at the bottle.

"Valium: Take 1 tablet for anxiety."

She almost laughed.

She walked from the bathroom and plopped herself down on the couch in the living area. She could feel the pills beginning to work their magic as a wave of ecstasy filled her small form. She pulled her legs underneath her body and closed her eyes.

She hated him. She loved him. Darien, lead singer of Endymion was her kryptonite. A small smile formed on her lips. Yes, he was her kryptonite, but then she was his. She wondered how he was taking the news that once again they would share a stage.


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Reflections

"That's a joke right?" Darien laughed.

Artemis looked at his famous client and shook his head.

"No, it isn't a joke."

Darien immediately stiffened.

"It better be. I can't believe this Artemis. You expect me and Serena to share a stage? Do you know what the consequences could be?" Darien exclaimed.

"Well I guess it's a risk we'll have to take. It's too late to back out now. The date has been set and the tickets sold."

Darien frowned.

"Fine. But don't hold me responsible, you're the one who brought this on everyone." With that Darien exited his manager's office.

The bottle of Vodka was half empty as Darien sat fiddling with his guitar. Upon returning to his apartment he had cracked open the bottle and began drinking. His thoughts were a whirlwind. He flipped open his cell phone and pulled up the pictures saved to the device. They were all of him and Serena. Her blue eyes and shinning smile mocked him through the screen. He slammed the phone shut and closed his eyes.

"Fuck."

The following morning had everyone on their guard. The concert was in three months, and the two bands had to work together on creating the set list. Raye was the first one to arrive at the venue. Her black tresses floated behind her as she walked towards the table that had been set up in the concert hall. She smiled briefly at Luna who was talking to Artemis before she walked to get a cup of coffee from the nearby refreshment table.

Shortly after her arrival she heard Mina's voice sounding from the entrance. The blonde was talking on her cell phone as she walked towards Raye.

"I told you already, I don't care. Just do it!" Mina exclaimed before shutting the device.

"Hey!" She smiled at Raye.

"Morning." Raye responded.

"We the first ones here?" Mina asked as she poured a glass of orange juice.

Raye nodded in confirmation as she sipped her coffee.

"Are you worried? I mean, about what Serena might do?" Mina asked with a lowered voice.

Raye kept her glance downward.

"Of course I'm worried. It's been two years since the two of them were in the same room. Who knows what might happen."

Mina sighed.

A pair of male voices brought the girls' attention to the door leading into the venue. Kunzite and Jedite were walking towards them.

"Well, it's been a while since we've seen you ladies." Jedite smirked.

"Watch it pal. We're not too thrilled about this either." Mina replied.

"Right. Just keep Serena on her leash. Got it?"

"Ditto Jed." Raye spoke.

Her hands were shaking as she poured the pills into her hand. She swallowed the tiny pills and leaned against the bathroom sink. She stared at her reflection.

"Fuck. Get a hold of yourself Serena." She chastised herself.

She was supposed to be at the concert hall twenty minutes ago. She splashed some cold water onto her face.

"Alright. Let's get this over with."

She grabbed several bottles of pills and stuffed them into her purse before turning out the light and heading for the door.

She placed her oversized sunglasses on her face, covering the dark circles under her eyes. She walked to the elevator and pushed for the lobby. As the doors closed she took a deep albeit shaky breath. She was about to see Darien for the first time in two years. Even after all this time she still didn't trust herself.

Everyone was waiting for her. Darien had arrived several minutes after his band mates. He didn't even acknowledge Raye or Mina, he had just sat down at the table and waited. That was twenty minutes ago, and everyone was starting to worry that Serena wasn't going to show. Luna was checking her watch for the hundredth time.

"I can't believe this." Luna exclaimed.

"Look Luna, why don't we just start this without her?" Artemis asked.

Just then the door opened and the petite blonde came walking through. Even from the distance Raye could tell that Serena was having a difficult time. Her movements were stiff and her gaze wouldn't leave the floor.

She finally reached the table after what seemed like an eternity. She threw her purse in front of her as she sat down. She wore no expression on her face, and her sunglasses effectively concealed any emotions that may have been playing in her eyes.

"How nice of you to finally show." Luna said.

Serena smiled up at her agent and raised her middle finger.

"Well, if you're done making gestures I think we can get started."

She was high. He knew it. Darien examined the angelic blond across the table. He almost laughed. Nobody else knew she was messed, but then he knew her better than anyone. She looked directly at him for a single moment before dropping her gaze back to the table top. They hadn't even been in the room together for more than five minutes and already the pull was becoming unbearable. It had always been that way between the two of them. Drawn to one another, linked on some unseen level.

Darien had to shake the thoughts and feelings invading his mind. He turned his attention away from Serena and focused on Artemis as he explained part of the set list.

The meeting continued for another thirty minutes. The two singers didn't say a single word the entire time.

"Well then, I think we have a good idea on how to start." Luna remarked as she picked up her folders.

"Girls you are free for the rest of the day. I'll see you all here tomorrow morning. I expect you'll be on time Serena." Luna said with a stern look towards the young girl.

The shuffling of chairs sounded as everyone began to leave, everyone except Darien and Serena.

He finally stood up and began to slowly approach her.

She felt like her stomach was fluttering. Gods save her. He was so perfect. His presence was drawing her in, like it always had. Once her eyes locked onto his own midnight orbs she knew she was in trouble.

He was standing right before her. A gentle smile formed on his lips. He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, his warm breath caressing her skin, causing her to shiver.

"You're high, aren't you Princess?"

She felt her heart begin to pound against her chest. His voice was smooth and velvety, his words unnerving.

"We're doomed." He whispered.

She finally found her voice and replied.

"I know."


	3. Chapter 3

Dark Reflections

"Luna please, you gotta understand, I can't do this." Serena pleaded.

After her encounter with Darien she had raced from the building. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage.

"Look Serena, I don't understand what the problem is." Luna exclaimed, her voice exasperated.

"I know you don't, but you have to believe me. I told you before, I can't be near him."

"Why?"

"We're dangerous to each other." Serena mumbled.

"See that's what I don't understand. How can the two of you be dangerous, as you say, to one another? Raye told me that you guys had dated a few years ago, but surely you're not letting a little breakup drama effect you in this manner." Luna accused.

"It's a bit more complicated than a simple breakup Luna."

"Enough excuses Serena. I already told you once, and I will say it one last time. The deal is done, now get over it and be a grownup."

Serena glared across the desk, before lifting herself from her seat and exiting the room.

"I swear, that girl is going to be the death of me." Luna said to herself before returning to the files spread across her desk.

After leaving Luna's office there was only one thing on Serena's mind; a stiff drink. She walked across town until her destination was visible. She stopped just outside the front doors. "Crown", she hadn't been there in two years, not since the last time she was with Darien. Apart of her mind began to scream "Run", but she was used to ignoring the irritating voice.

"Fuck it" she said as she entered the club.

Her first impression was that it hadn't changed at all. In fact it seemed as if the same people were still there. Memories began to play like a movie across her mind.

She ambled up to the bar and ordered a Jack Daniels. As the bartender poured her drink she noticed for the first time that she wasn't alone. Her senses started to tingle as she heard a familiar velvet voice sound from behind her.

"Feels like it was only yesterday." Darien's voice caressed.

"Darien, please, just go away."

"I can't."

She turned to face him.

"We can't, I can't. Don't you understand?"

"Yet here we are." Darien smiled.

Her inner wall that she worked so hard to build the past two years started to crumble. There was too much. Too much history; and way too much passion. With her last ounce of strength she pleaded.

"Please."

"If only I had the strength to say no Princess, but with you, I never have." Darien said.

He leaned in inches from her face, waiting for her to connect what he knew they both craved. It was only a mere second before she complied, but not before she cursed.

"Damn you Darien."

Raye was pacing her apartment. She had called Serena about thirty times, every time receiving nothing but her voicemail. She was worried. Luna had called and told her about their conversation. At first she told herself that it would be ok. Serena had come far since those days, she wouldn't just give up now. Yet as the hours rolled into the early morning and she still couldn't reach the blonde her fears surfaced.

"Please, don't let this happen again."

It was in the wee hours of the morning before Darien returned to his apartment. He stumbled in and was surprised to see both Kunzite and Jedite there.

"Where have you been?" Kunzite asked with a frown.

"None of your fucking business."

"You were with her weren't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Lay off will ya? We happened to run into each other and we had a few drinks. That's all alright!" Darien shouted.

"Look Darien, we are trying to watch out for you. You two are like poison to one another. You know that. Don't you remember how bad it got? She almost died, YOU almost died. Why can't you see it?" Jedite remarked.

Darien let out a loud sigh.

"That was then. Look I don't see the problem. We're past all that."

"Are you sure? Cause I'm not." Jedite said.

"Look, just stay out of it. Like I said it was only a couple drinks, that's all."

Jedite and Kunzite shared a frown, but knew it was hopeless to continue arguing with their friend.

"Fine. Just remember Darien, if you fall we won't be picking you back up again." Kunzite said before he and Jedite left the apartment.

Darien collapsed on his couch.

He didn't know what to do. Serena was an enigma to him, he just couldn't get enough of her. Yet, he knew his friends were right. It was only a matter of time before things got dark again.

He rolled up his sleeve and the evidence stared him back in the face. The track marks had diminished over the past years, but they were still visible.

"Fuck." He said.


	4. Chapter 4

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Serena chanted as she banged her head on her kitchen counter. How was she ever going to survive this? Not even a whole day and she had been out drinking with Darien. She groaned as she made her way to her bedroom.

"Why? Why do I always fall so easily for him?" As she crawled under the covers she made a silent vow to herself.

"I won't mess up again, I won't. I will ignore him."

The irritating voice in her head replied, "Good luck."

Raye was waiting for her outside of the venue. The look on her face was one of pure fury. Serena braced herself for the fiery girl's onslaught.

"Where the hell were you last night!" Raye screamed.

"I couldn't quite hear you, mind talking a little louder?" Serena sarcastically replied.

Raye grabbed the blonde by the hand and pushed up her sleeve examining her arm.

"Jesus Raye what the hell is wrong with you?" Serena said, as she struggled to release herself from the grip.

Just then Mina arrived and approached the girls.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Nothing." Raye replied as she stormed into the building.

Mina looked at Serena with questioning eyes.

"She thought I was out using last night."

"Were you?" Mina asked.

"No damn it. Look, just because Darien is around doesn't mean I'm shooting up again."

"It's because Darien's around that we're worried." Mina replied.

Serena frowned.

"Look Serena can you really blame us? When you and Darien were together, well, you both were out of control. It was as if the two of you pushed each other farther and farther."

"I know." Serena whispered.

Mina gave her friend a gentle hug.

"Look, Raye just over reacted. You know how she can be. I believe in you Serena. I was there when you went through hell, and I know you wouldn't just give up all the hard work these past years overnight." Mina smiled.

At her friends words Serena felt the pang of guilt like a knife through the gut. She had already failed. She hadn't shot up, but she had spent the night in a drunken stupor with Darien. That's how it had all started the first time.

She looked into Mina's pale blue eyes. The sparkled with warmth and hope. She really did believe in her. Gods how naïve she was.

"Well, I'm glad to see everyone made it on time today." Luna remarked to the group sitting around the table.

"We have a lot of work to do today, so don't expect to be leaving here anytime soon." Artemis chimed in.

"As stated yesterday, there is a three hour expectation for the set list. You each are required to provide eight songs. Time between sets is limited to thirty minutes." Artemis continued.

He may as well be talking to the wall was Serena's thought. It was like listening to the syllabus on the first day of class; senseless.

She looked around the table and noticed that she wasn't the only one tuning the man out. Raye was picking invisible lint from her shirt. Mina was texting on her phone. She also noticed that the guy's from Endymion were also oblivious to what their esteemed manager was saying. Kunzite was doodling, Jedite looked half asleep, and Darien, well Darien was asleep. She examined him from across the table, scrutinizing every facet of his person. After a moment she realized that he wasn't really asleep. No, he was passed out drunk.

"Let's get to work. Girls, the set designer will be here any minute." Luna's voice sounded.

Without a word the trio of girls lifted themselves from their positions around the table and followed their manager towards the other end of the venue.

Serena spared one last glance at Darien's form and silently promised herself to stay away.

The day had been busy and tiresome. Set designs, equipment and sound checks, it had become a blur as the two bands finally left the arena. The sun had already set and tiny stars illuminated a moonless sky.

"Whew, what a day." Mina remarked, as she threw her hands behind her head.

Several grumbles could be heard in reply.

"Say, I think we all earned a drink. How about we all head up to…" She was cut off by Jedite.

"Not a chance. This is where we go our separate ways. The last thing we need is for your little bitch of a friend Serena fucking everything up again."

Serena's fist balled up at her side but Raye stepped in before she had a chance to reply.

"Her fault? It was Darien's fault. Look at him, he's shit faced even now! If anyone was to blame for the past it was your…"

"Enough!" Darien's voiced boomed. "Fuck the past. Let's get this fucking gig over with and go our separate ways again. I'm sick of this bullshit. Fuck you all."

With that he started to amble away from the group who were left standing with mouth agape.


	5. Chapter 5

Serena clenched her fist around her cell phone. After Darien's outburst everyone had went their separate ways. Serena felt in a daze as she headed to her apartment. There was something about that night, about him, that was calling out to her. She was trying to fight the feeling, and losing ground quickly.

The fire had been ignited and the flames were quickly eating her up. She remembered the look in her ex-lovers eyes while he raged against everyone. The velvet sound of his voice as he cursed them aloud.

She could feel the sting as tears formed behind her eyes. Breaking into a sprint, she raced to her home. Slamming the door behind herself she threw her cell phone against the wall as she crumpled into a ball on the floor.

"Stop it!" She commanded her body.

On shaky legs she made her way to her bathroom. She poured the contents of several bottles into her hands she swallowed them quickly. She stared at her reflection as her anger grew. Slamming her fist into the mirror, she watched as the shattered shards fell. Blood spilled from her hand but she didn't care. There was an immense feeling of satisfaction that had come from breaking the mirror. The deep slices into her hand had somehow eased the tension that had been building inside her. She smiled as she watched it drip from her hand and stain the white sink with its crimson hue.

Walking to her kitchen she pulled a bottle from its resting place and cracked it open. Not bothering to get a glass she drank straight from the source. It burned her throat as it slid down into her stomach with it's warm embrace. She took another pull before pouring some of the contents on her injured hand. It burned like hell and she sucked in her breath against the pain.

Flinging herself onto her couch she continued to take generous pulls from the bottle. Soon the pills would bring her to a state of ecstasy. She noticed her cell phone laying open on the floor and reached down to pick it up. She remembered why she was feeling this way in the first place. Darien.

She frowned at the thought of him. He was making her unravel; two years of hard work, demolished in only two days. She wanted to blame him. Raye and Mina certainly did. But they didn't know. They never knew how much in fact she herself had been to blame. In fact, it had probably been entirely her fault.

"_Please Darien. I just want to feel good. You know how stressed I've been. One hit, that's all. Don't let me do this alone."_

She shook her head at the memory. She had never been strong enough. She was weak. A fuck up. An addict. He had been stronger. He had tried, but she had defeated his resolve. She had known him too well. He didn't have a fighting chance with her around.

The tears spilled freely from her eyes. The mixture of pills and alcohol taking their effect made her head dizzy and her heart pound.

The last thing she could remember thinking before the darkness took her over was, "How could I destroy everything that I ever loved?"

* * *

Raye sat at the farthest table in the coffee shop. She needed to calm down before she went home. She sat staring into her coffee cup. She was still furious. Jedite's accusations against Serena had set her off, and even at this late hour she still couldn't get her mind to stop. She had never felt this angry; not since the phone call nearly two years ago.

"_Raye?" A trembling voice had sounded from the other end._

"_Serena! Where are you?"_

"_I don't know. Oh God Raye, please help me."_

"_I need to know where you are! Where's Darien?"_

"_I don't know! He left, and I don't know where I am. Please Raye! I'm scared."_

Raye shook her head at the haunting memory. She had a sinking feeling that she was about to relive some of the darkest days; and she was powerless to stop it.


	6. Chapter 6

It was nearly 3am when the banging at his door began. Darien tried rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he crossed the room towards the door. With his hair in disarray, and only his jeans on he pulled open the door to confront the offender who had awoken him. He was more than surprised when the petite blonde filled his view.

"Serena?"

"I just came here to tell you I hate you." Serena's slurred words replied.

"What?"

Serena slapped him hard against his face.

"You! I hate you!" She screamed.

Darien pulled her into the apartment before she could wake his neighbors with her shouting. She began punching him as he dragged her further into the room. It was obvious to him now what was going on. Serena was drunk, and she had been drinking Tequila. She always became angry and combative when she drank Tequila.

"Calm down! You're fucking drunk." Darien spoke to her, as he tried to grab her hands. It was a difficult endeavor, but he succeeded in pinning her arms to her sides. He finally was able to look at her. He wished he hadn't. The fire in her eyes stirred his senses to life. The wave of memories crashed over him like a tsunami. The countless nights of pure passion they had shared. Her fury was a rush like none other. Sex with Serena had always been amazing, but when she had been angry it was out of control. It was as if they completely lost their senses. Towards the end of their relationship he hadn't hardly any furniture left.

She could see the shift in his eyes. She knew what was going through his mind. It was the same thing racing through hers. Yet she could tell he was fighting it, and that realization angered her all the more.

"You're such a fucking loser." She spat at him.

He glared at her. She was challenging him, a trait that angered and excited him all at the same time. Suddenly he pulled her hard against his body and held her in the painful grasp.

"You should watch your mouth Princess." He whispered darkly in her ear.

"Make me."

Darien fought the rage of emotions stirring beneath his skin. He stepped away from her, though he still held her arms.

"Why are you doing this?" He whispered

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Biting her bottom lip, she fought to control her emotions.

"Why?" He asked her again.

She struggled out of his arms and stared at him.

"No, you tell me why. Tell me why you left. Tell me why everything came crashing down. Tell me why even after all the pieces fell I could never pick them up. Tell me why I still love you." Her voice had gotten louder with each sentence until she all but screamed the last.

He reached for her then but she batted his arms away.

"No, fuck you." You spat as she turned towards the front door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"None of you fucking business!"

He grabbed her from behind. His arms wrapped around her slender waist as he hoisted her off the ground and away from the door. Serena began to struggle, kicking her legs and thrashing about. Darien wasn't deterred. He carried her into the living room and all but threw her onto his sofa.

"You're drunk and out of control. You're not about to go wandering the streets at this hour. Christ." Darien shouted at her.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"I need a drink." He said more to himself as he reached for the bottle he had opened earlier. He took a long pull before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He turned his attention down at the blond sitting on the couch. Taking another drink he offered her the bottle. She eyed him suspiciously before accepting and taking a drink of her own and returning the bottle to him.

Darien decided to plop himself down next to Serena, bottle still in hand.

"This stuff tastes like shit, but it sure gets the job done." He murmured.

Serena gave no response.

"Fuck. This is so fucked up, you know that?"

Serena turned her full attention to the man next to her.

"My whole life is fucked up." She whispered.

He turned to her and grabbed her hands.

"You're not the only one. Shit, the whole world is fucked up. I mean, look at all the miserable fucks out there. You know the most fucked up thing really is? They worship it. I've got fucking fan clubs across the globe. Why? They have this image of me, like I'm some person sent to lead them through their troubles. Nobody ever realizes how fucked up I am. They don't fucking know me." Darien all but spat out the last of his rant.

"I know you." Serena said.

He looked deep into her eyes then.

"You know, you're probably the only one."

Serena grabbed the bottle and took a lengthy drink.

"You're an arrogant asshole." She replied

Darien laughed.

"Crazy bitch." He replied, taking the bottle from her and taking long drinks from it. When he was finished the bottle was all but empty. He could feel his buzz returning to life. Serena was still obviously in hers. They locked eyes, and the passion returned.

"Yo Darien!" A strange voice called from beyond his front door.

"Shit." Darien muttered as he went to allow his guest entry.

Kunzite's form filled the doorway. His smile fell when he noticed Serena's form sitting on the sofa.

"You fucking bitch. You just can't leave him alone, can you?" Kunzite shouted as he moved towards her.

Darien tried to grab Kunzite but his reactions had been slowed from his drunken state and he missed.

"Look at you. You are a fucking mess. A whore, and you're trying to take him down with you again!"

Serena glared up at the man who was now towering above her. His words were like sharp knives, but she dared not react.


	7. Chapter 7

"Kunzite that's enough!" Dairen shouted as he moved towards the pair.

Kunzite's icy stare was penetrating her soul. At least that's how it felt. Serena could feel the bile rising in her throat. The mixture of Kunzite's intense hate and her own shame was turning her body against herself. She glanced up towards Darien who was stumbling his way towards them. Kunzite was right, she would only bring him down in her own spiral of doom. She had loved him, and yet she almost destroyed him. Desperate she couldn't allow it to happen again.

"He's right Darien."

"What?"

"He's right. You should stay away from me." Serena voiced.

Both men held very different expressions. Kunzite looked as if he had accomplished a huge triumph, and Darien looked lost.

Seeing this as her only opportunity Serena sprang from her seat and out of the apartment before either man could try to stop her. As she raced down the dark and dismal streets her heart pounded. Tears stained her cheeks, and the alcohol caused everything around her to spin.

She didn't know where she was going until she arrived. It was here that Serena sealed her fate.

"What the fuck!" Darien screamed.

"I should be asking you that. I can't believe you. How fucking stupid are you that you can't seem to stay away from that bitch?" Kunzite retorted.

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh no? That fucking bitch had you shooting up every fucking day. She destroyed your life. By the time it ended you were so fucking strung out that even the doctors were amazed you survived. But, I don't know what I'm talking about huh?"

"No. You don't. You don't understand." Darien's voice had turned somber.

"What exactly don't I understand Darien?"

"It's my fault."

"What do you mean your fault?"

"I was the one who destroyed her first. It's my fault she is the way she is, or the way she was."

Darien kept his gaze on the floor. He had just admitted out loud what he had kept locked away in his blackened heart. He felt as if a knife had just been plunged through whatever heart he had left. Funny, he thought, only Serena ever had that impact on him.

* * *

Flashback

He remembered the very first time they had met. It had been seven years ago, though it felt just like yesterday.

"_Hey Andrew, what's with the crowd?" Darien asked the sandy blond behind the bar._

"_Shit. We had a band lined up to play tonight and the fuckers didn't show." Andrew replied._

"_So all these people…"_

"_Are gonna be pissed." Andrew finished._

"_I'll sing."_

_The two men turned their attention to the small blond who had been sitting nearby at the bar. She was stirring the contents of her drink. _

_His first thought was she was extremely pretty, albeit a little young. Andrew turned his attention from the angel when he spoke._

"_Are you serious? You would actually sing for us?" Andrew sounded incredulous._

"_Yeah, although it won't be that great without somebody playing guitar and percussion." Serena nonchalantly replied._

"_I'm sure someone in this dive can play. Just give me a second to ask around." Andrew excitedly replied before jumping the bar and disappearing into the crowd._

"_You sing?" Darien asked her._

"_Yeah." _

"_I'm Darien." He replied as he stretched out his hand._

_Serena glanced down at his gesture before extending her own hand out._

"_I'm Serena."_

"_Well, it's nice to meet you."_

"_We'll see." Serena smirked._

_Just then Andrew returned with two girls._

"_Hey Serena! This here is Raye, and this is Mina. They can play." Andrew remarked._

_The trio of girls exchanged pleasantries before heading off towards the stage area._

"_I can't believe my luck. Getting Serena to sing." Andrew voiced._

"_What's the big deal?" Darien asked before taking a long drink._

_Before Andrew could reply the stage area lit up, revealing the trio of girls. Raye and Mina struck up a beat and Darien was amazed at how in sync they were, despite only having met a few minutes ago. Then Serena began to sing. Her voice was haunting. The entire crowd went silent as her melodic voice filled up the tiny bar._

_He had been wrong. She wasn't just pretty, she was fucking gorgeous._

End Flashback

* * *

Serena banged on the door for what felt like an eternity before it opened.

"Serena?" The figure asked.

"Seiya."

A/N: I really want to thank all of you who have read and/or reviewed this story. It means a lot to me to hear your feedback. I'm taking a risk by really getting into some controversial stuff, but I hope you'll stick with me till the end.

This story has a lot of personal meaning to me. Some of what you're reading is from my own memory and journey. However, I do not support nor encourage anyone to go through these situations.

See you soon!

Catchastar101

XOXO


	8. Chapter 8

"Where is she?" Luna sounded.

Both managers and groups had been at the venue for an hour, and still there was no sign of Serena. Raye looked extremely distraught as she dialed Serena's cell phone number for the hundredth time.

"Leave a message. I'll get it eventually." Serena's voice sounded.

"Son of a bitch." Raye exclaimed, as she dialed once again.

"When is the last time you talked to her?" Luna asked the girls.

"She called me last night around 4:30 in the morning, well she accidently called, when I answered nobody was there." Mina replied, worry now evident in her voice.

"And nobody has any idea where she might be?"

The members at the table shook their heads. Darien remained still. He neither spoke nor moved as the discussion took place.

"Damn that girl." Luna huffed.

* * *

"Raye is calling your phone again." Seiya remarked.

"Just let it ring." Serena answered.

"They're probably worried about you." Seiya said as he sat himself next to the blond on the sofa.

"I don't care. They are better off without me." She casually replied.

"Here." Seiya remarked as he handed her several pills. "Cheer up." He smiled.

Serena looked at the pills resting in his hand. She hesitated for only the briefest of moments before scooping all of them up and into her mouth.

* * *

"Leave a message. I'll get it eventually."

"Dammit!" Raye screamed. She turned her attention to the ebony haired Adonis sitting at the far end of the table. "What did you do?" She screamed at him.

Darien's blue eyes pierced into Raye's violet ones.

"You son of a bitch. If anything has happened to her I'll kill you with my own hands." She threatened.

Darien remained silent. He had to force himself not to react. He wanted to jump across the table and pummel Raye, but he knew better.

"Darien?" Mina's sweet voice interrupted. "Do you know where she might be?"

"No." He whispered.

"Liar!" Raye shouted.

"That's enough. Nobody knows where your little friend is. Who cares anyway." Jedite sounded.

Voices started to raise and threats and accusations were flown across the table. Finally Artemis sounded out for silence.

"Look, we're obviously not going to get anything productive done today. Girls, go find Serena."

Raye and Mina dashed out of the building, leaving the band mates of Endymion sitting alone at the table. Darien could feel the panic growing in his chest. This overwhelming feeling only happened when Serena was in trouble. He didn't know what to do. He had promised Kunzite last night that he would stay away, that he really didn't care about her like that anymore. He had lied. Now he was sitting here, panic filling his soul, and the distinctive feeling that something was very wrong. He picked up his phone and dialed Serena's number. Maybe she would answer and then he would know she was alright.

"Hello?" A voice that didn't belong to his angle answered. He shut his phone and ran from the building without a word. No, the person who answered wasn't his angel. It belonged to the devil. Seiya.

* * *

Her cell phone was ringing again. Seiya glanced over at the unconscious beauty on the sofa before picking up the device. He had meant to his the silence button, but that was before the display had lit up with the name "Darien". He couldn't help himself, he answered.

"Hello?"

There was silence at the other end before the line disconnected. Seiya shut the phone off and smirked. Darien Shields was the only man who had stood between him and his dreams. Looking back at Serena's sleeping form he smiled.

His heartbeat mimicked the beat of his feet hitting the pavement as he ran. He was trying to get there before it was too late. They had met Seiya a year into their relationship. He was also getting into the music business with his own band, the Three Lights. At first they only saw each other at record meetings, sometimes playing a set at a club they had been at, but eventually they had become friends. It was Seiya who had opened the door for him and Serena. He had known more producers, had a bigger following, and knew how to make it in such a cut throat industry. He also was the one who brought their darkest addictions to life.

* * *

Flashback

_"Here, try this." Seiya remarked as he held a needle towards the couple._

_"What's it do?" Serena asked curiously._

_"It makes everything just better." He had replied._

_Darien snatched the needle up and examined it. He knew what it was, but he had never actually seen it in person. He couldn't say he wasn't tempted. He was always looking for a better high, but a part of him screamed "don't do it!"_

_"Well?" Seiya challenged._

_Darien looked at Serena. She was staring at him intently, waiting for him to make the first move._

_He plunged the needle into his arm, pushing the liquid deep into his veins. Immediately he knew it had been the wrong choice. The high was just so intense, indescribable. Seiya produced another needle then and offered it to Serena. She hesitated._

_"Darien?"_

_Darien took the needle from Seiya and reached out for her arm. She didn't flinch away when he grabbed her arm, she merely watched as he gently pushed the needle into her flesh and pushed the contents into her body._

End Flashback

* * *

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his labored breathing was creating a fire in his lungs. Finally he arrived at his destination. He only hoped he wasn't too late.


	9. Chapter 9

As the violent storm split open the sky she peered into the darkened window pane. The lightening flashed brilliantly, briefly showcasing her pale reflection.

"Like a ghost" She thought.

Trembling hands touched the glass surface as if to prove her existence was real. The city had lost power hours ago. Cell phone towers refused to work and the streets were empty as the thousands had scattered to seek shelter from the storm. A single candle dimly lit up the kitchen of her apartment, the rest was cloaked in darkness.

"Are you afraid?" A deep voice sounded from behind her, as two arms wrapped around her slim figure.

"Terrified." She replied.

* * *

A few hours earlier...

She had heard the voices as if from a distance. The swirling clouds in her mind kept her from hearing the words as she strained to regain control of her senses.

"Where is she?" Darien shouted.

Seiya smiled smugly at the man standing in his doorway. He knew Darien's reaction would be this way.

"Come in a see for yourself." Seiya replied as he granted Darien access to the home.

She was laying on the sofa, her blonde hair and pale limbs strewn across its surface. She looked like an angel, freshly fallen from the sky. He went to go to her but was stopped as the cool barrel of a gun pressed against his temple.

"Not so fast." Seiya sounded. "You and I are going to have a talk. Take a seat over here."

Darien complied as he sat in a nearby chair, his eyes never leaving the figure of Serena.

Seiya approached her sleeping figure, all the while keeping the gun pointed at Darien.

"You know, you never deserved her." Seiya began. He tenderly touched her cheek before continuing. "No, you didn't deserve her. And she didn't deserve a bastard like you."

"What did you do to her?" Darien growled from his position.

"She came to me last night. She was extremely upset. I should have known you were the reason. She needed to calm down so I gave her a few pills to help her relax."

The giant knot at the pit of Darien's stomach began to grow.

"You know Darien, I've always wanted for so long to have Serena in my arms. But then, she never had eyes for anyone but you. So I wondered, how could I get you out of the picture?"

Darien shifted in his seat, his mouth had gone dry and sweat had begun to bead across his forehead.

"The problem is, if I kill you, she'll hate me." Seiya remarked. "So what shall I do?"

At this point Darien began to panic. Seiya was always irrational and capable of doing anything.

"Do you remember Darien, that night two years ago? The night you abandoned her? I do." Seiya smirked. "She never did find out what you did and were you went did she?"

"What are you doing Seiya?" Darien asked through clenched teeth.

Seiya smiled. As he kissed the forehead of the slumbering princess he spoke.

"I could never hurt her. As much as I hate you, I will always love her."

"I don't understand?"

"I'm going to give you a chance Darien. A chance to change her world."

Seiya removed himself from Serena's side and reached into his pocket, producing a single syringe already loaded. Before Darien could react Seiya pierced the needle deep into his angel's arm, pushing the contents deep into her veins.

"What did you do? What did you give her?" Darien shouted as he began to life himself from his position.

"Relax. I would never give her anything harmful. It's just something to bring her back to reality. Now, here is how this is going to work. See these two needles?" Seiya remarked as he gestured to the coffee table. "One is nothing more than saline, the other is the most potent H I've ever encountered. You get to choose who gets what."

Darien's eyes were glued to the needles, his fears surfacing.

"If you don't do what I ask than I will be forced to reveal the truth about that night long ago. Every detail. Then again, if you accept, well, then you have the chance to save her or destroy her again."

Seiya tossed the devices into Darien's lap.

"You have 24 hours to make your choice. I'll know what you decide. Trust me." With that, Seiya vanished into another room and bolted the door behind him. Darien couldn't have cared less about Seiya, as at that moment a pair of blue eyes fluttered open.

* * *

Present Moment

Suddenly the strong arms that were holding her opened and she turned to face him.

"Here." He said solemnly as he produced a needle in his right hand.

Her trembling fingers reached out, grabbing hold of the fragile device.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Me too, Darien."

She plunged the needle deep into her vein and pushed the liquid within. She dropped the needle onto the floor, as the thunder clasped loudly outside.

She hadn't told Darien that she had heard everything. She didn't tell him that it wasn't his choice but hers that would seal their fate tonight. She didn't tell him that she switched the needles, and that the amount of heroin she just took would probably kill her.

"I'm sorry Darien. So sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: First I want to thank everyone who has read/reviewed this story, it means a lot! I know that so far this story is well, kinda depressing, to say the least, but it will get better. Addiction is a dark and unreal reality.

There is no cure for addiction. I myself am a recovering addict, and this story is a way for me to express and show the world of addiction for what it truly is. Addiction isn't glamorous, and recovering isn't easy. I hope that if this story reaches anyone who is either struggling with addiction, or recovering, they will be able to find the truth behind it all.

Anyways, enough of my babbling

Catchastar101

* * *

He couldn't watch. She had taken the needle and he turned away. The remaining needle was held tightly in his left hand. He took a shuddering breath before opening his hand.

It was empty. The needle was empty. He spun around to face her.

"I'm so Darien. So sorry."

He reached for her and pulled her into his embrace. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as the realization of what she had done hit him.

"Why? Why?" He cried.

"Because I couldn't stand being the one who destroyed you again." She whispered.

He looked down into her blue depths. He could see the drugs starting to take control of her body as she melted away. If he hadn't already been holding her she would have collapsed under her own weight upon the floor. He picked up her limp form.

"Serena! Stay with me!" He cried.

She was nodding in and out of consciousness. He knew he needed to act fast. The amount of heroin she had just taken would be too much for her small form to handle. Swiftly he carried her into the bathroom. The power outage had left the small space in utter darkness. Carefully he positioned them both in the tub and turned on the cold water, thankful that at least that was working. The cold water showered down upon them, as he held her in his lap.

"Please baby please. Wake up!" He begged.

He kissed her pale face as his tears mixed with the cascading water from above. She thought she destroyed him. It was the deepest pain he had ever felt. How could this beautiful angel think she could have ever done anything to destroy him? He had been the one. It had been his fault. Straight from the beginning, and now she was in danger of dying, because of him.

He held her tightly against his chest. She shivered against him. He had to do something.

Carefully as if she were a glass doll he positioned her in the tub. He ran to the medicine cabinet and scowered through the contents. Without the aid of light he could barely make out the various bottles. Finally he grasped what he had been hoping for. In the farthest reach of the upper corner was a vial.

"I'll be right back. Don't you give up on me!" He commanded.

He raced down the darkened hallway back to the living room. Upon the floor was the used needle. He picked it up and raced back. Digging deep into his pocket he found his lighter and with its aid placed the needle into the vial and pulled from its contents. He climbed back into the tub and placed her across his lap. Her breathing was so shallow. He grabbed her arm and plunged the contents within her. Within seconds she gasped, like a child taking its first breath. Her eyes fluttered open.

He had placed the vial of narcan in the cabinet long ago, just in case. Gods how lucky he was that it was still there. He grasped her face between his hands. Tears flowed freely from his eyes. She looked up at him with confused eyes. The narcan had taken the effects of the heroin away, but the drug was still racing through her system it would be hours before she was no longer in danger of overdosing.

Suddenly the power returned and the room was alit.

"Darien?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but the sweet melody was like an orchestra in his head.

He pulled her into his tight embrace.

"Why Serena?" He cried into her soaking hair.

After holding her for a while he turned off the water and gently picked her up into his arms. As he carefully stepped out of the tub he noticed for the first time the broken mirror and blood stained sink. The numerous bottles scattered across the room and spilt pills covered nearly every surface.

He looked down at her now slumbering face. Her breathing was stronger, and her color was returning.

"What have I done to you princess?" He asked.

Carefully and slowly he carried her into her room and laid her down upon her bed. Her soaking wet clothes clung to her body and he peeled them off with care until she was only in her bra and panties. He covered her with a soft blanket and stared upon her resting features.

"What have I done?"

* * *

She woke up to see his angered face hovering above her own.

"What?"

He answered the question in her eyes by lifting the vial for her to see.

"How?"

"In the medicine cabinet. I put it there when we were together. Just in case." He replied. Before she could totally comprehend the situation his angry voice sounded, "Why did you do it?"

Instead of answering him she turned her body away from him to face the wall.

"Don't you dare ignore me!" Darien commanded as he grabbed to turn her back to face him.

"Let go of me!" Serena shouted.

"No! Tell me why!"

She tried to fight him. She twisted and turned but it was to no avail. Her body was exhausted. Tears ran hot and wet down her face. He had her pinned down.

"I won't hurt you again." She sobbed. "There are you happy?"

"You're so fucking stupid." He growled.

"Fuck you."

"How dare you think that you had ever hurt me? Huh? I leave you to die, and then two years later you think you can just give your own life up for mine?"

"I deserved it." She replied solemnly.

"Stop it!" He shouted, pushing himself away from her.

She looked at him with confused eyes. He ran shaky hands through his still wet hair. She noticed only then that his clothes were soaked and clinging to his body. With what little energy she had she removed herself from her bed. She noticed her own lack of clothing but she didn't care. Slowly she walked to her closet and moved to pull out a box hidden in the corner.

He watched her. Her movements were slow. The pain in his chest intensified. She pulled a box from her closet and placed it on the bed. From its contents she pulled out a shirt and pair of jeans. They were his.

"Here." She said without looking at him.

That was it. The simple gesture was enough to push him over the edge. Darien snapped.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Warning! Graphic and "Steamy" material.

Also, from the previous chapter… Narcan is a drug used to reverse the effects of heroin and is used by medical staff for overdoses, in case you were wondering.

Thank you SOOOO much for all the reviews! It means a lot and really makes me want to update even faster

Catchastar101

* * *

He grabbed her and pulled her roughly against himself. Before his lips descended upon her he whispered, "I really am a bastard."

His lips crushed against hers with such force and passion that Serena nearly fell over. After her initial shock she responded by throwing every ounce of her passion into kissing him back. He pulled roughly at her hair, causing her head to tilt back and grant him more access to her eager mouth. Their bodies were smashed together that not even a breath could come between them. She moaned as his left hand squeezed her breast. Without breaking their heated kiss Serena reached down and began working at Darien's belt. Her talented hands had the device opened within seconds and moved to the button at the top. He pushed her up against the wall as he continued to devour her. She could feel his arousal through his soaking jeans against her belly. Furiously she worked to remove the clothing separating their bodies. She grabbed at his shirt and tugged it over his head, breaking the kiss for only a second. He began to kiss and bite at her neck, something he knew would drive her further into her passion.

The feeling of his teeth nibbling on her sensitive flesh was driving her insane. She wanted him, no she needed him. She wrapped both her legs around his waist and dragged her nails against the exposed flesh of his chest. He groaned in response. In a flurry her bra was ripped away and her panties stripped leaving her completely exposed for his attention. He wasted no time in obliging. With one swift movement he threw her onto the bed before removing the last of his own clothing.

It had been so long since she had seen all of him. The various tattoos stood out against his tanned skin. She knew all of them by heart. The size of his arousal excited her. She knew he was big, but it had been years since they had been together, and the anticipation of him filling her was enough to cause a shiver to run down her spine.

They reached for each other at the same time. Their kisses became demanding as Serena dug her hands into his black hair and pulled him as close to her as she could. His left hand squeezed at her bare breasts and pinched at her aroused nipples. His right hand moved slowly, as if he were deliberately trying to tease her down to her heated core. He touched her inner thighs gently, teasing her. She wasn't in the mood to play games. With her remaining strength she pushed him over so that she was in control. The smile on his face from her actions made her wild. Instead of riding him like he expected, Serena switched her tactic and began to tease him. She pulled his finger into her mouth and caressed it with her tongue. He grabbed at her hips and tried to position her over his now aching erection. Serena wasn't about to let him get his way. She dragged her body down the length of him, making him moan as her breasts moved slowly across his chest until her mouth was positioned above his heavy manhood.

"No." He groaned, trying to stop what she was about to do.

She smiled before slowing easing the length of him into her mouth. Her hands followed to movements of her tongue, up and down his now slick shaft. Suddenly she was pulled from her position by her hair and forced onto her back upon the bed. The look in his midnight eyes told her everything she needed to know. Darien was now consumed with his passion. He spread her legs wide, opening her wide. He positioned the tip at her entrance and plunged himself fully within her. She cried out in pain and pleasure.

She was so fucking hot and tight. Grapping tightly at her hips he slammed himself into her again and again. Her tits moved up and down with his violent thrusts and her loud moans filled the room. It felt so fucking good to be inside her. Again and again he slammed himself fully into her wet pussy, stretching her wide with his size.

She felt as if she were splitting in two. The pleasure and pain from his violent thrusts mixed into a euphoric ecstasy that only he could provide. No other man had ever brought her over the edge with pure pleasure.

She was about to cum, he knew it. Her legs tightened around his waist as she met his every thrust just as powerfully with her own shifting of her hips until the walls of her pussy clamped hard around him and she cried out in her ecstasy. He pushed himself one last time, deeper than he had ever been within her and poured his seed into her.

They looked at each other with clouded eyes, their chests rising and falling with their labored breathing.

There would be no turning back now. They both understood that but at that moment neither cared.

He kissed her soundly.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"What do you…"

"Let me finish. Understand this here and now, it wasn't you who destroyed my life, it was me who destroyed yours, and I'm sorry because I simply cannot let you go. I know that this…" he gestured with a wave of his arm, "will probably end up killing us both. But my life isn't shit without you. I don't care about anything but you."

She was stunned at his admission, and thrilled at the same time.

"All I've ever wanted is you Darien." She laughed darkly then. "I'm more fucked up without you than I ever was with you."

He gazed down at her face. The dark circles under her eyes and her pale complexion spoke volumes.

"I'm sorry. I won't ever let you go again. No matter the consequences, I choose you."

"What do we do about the others?" Serena questioned, referring to their friends.

"I don't give a flying fuck about their opinion and it's none of their fucking business. However, until this bullshit concert is over we'll have to keep it low-profile."

Serena nodded her agreement. A part of her felt guilty. Her friends had been there for her and she was throwing it all away to have Darien back in her life. The guilt tugged at her conscious. She looked deep into her lover's eyes and decided that she didn't care. She would give it all up for him, she always would.

* * *

At the sound of her cell phone Raye jumped and clamored to retrieve the device.

"Serena?" She asked frantically.

"It's Seiya." The voice sounded on the other end.

"What do you want?" Raye bit out.

"I just thought you would like to know where your friend is."

"Where? Where is she? Is she alright?" Raye cried.

"She's at her apartment."

Raye breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is she okay?" Raye asked.

"I hope so."

"What do you mean?"

"Darien is with her."

"Darien?" Raye asked.

"Yeah. He came over here and picked up some supplies and said he was meeting up with Serena at her place."

Raye sucked in her breath. Her heart began pounding loudly.

"I thought they were broken up and Serena was getting clean?" Seiya asked with concern in his voice.

"Thanks for calling." Raye spat out angrily.

"I hope she's okay."

Raye slammed the phone shut. The fury racing through her veins caused her hands to shake. She was seething so she called the only person in the world who could possibly fix the situation.


	12. Chapter 12

It was Saturday, which meant that nobody was expected at the venue. Raye was thankful for that as she walked briskly down the crowded streets. She was about to do something that could potentially ruin lives, but in her mind it was the only way. She walked into the large building and took a deep breath.

"Ms. Hino?" A voice sounded.

"Yes." Raye replied, removing the sunglasses from her face.

"I can't thank you enough for coming. I've been wanting to do an interview with you for so long!" The young girl with long brown hair and green eyes exclaimed.

Raye smiled sweetly towards her. Somewhere in her soul she felt the pang of guilt for using this innocent girl to accomplish her task, but it had to be done.

"It won't disappoint. I'll keep nothing back." Raye replied.

The women gestured towards an office near the back of the building. Raye said a quick prayer for forgiveness before following her into the office.

* * *

Her cell phone started to ring, waking the slumbering blonde. She clamored her hand around her nightstand, knocking items off before she grabbed a hold of it.

"Hello?" Her voice was groggy.

"Sere? It's Mina. Are you alright? Where have you been girl?"

"Hey, sorry I was…I uh, had a rough day and decided to stay home."

There was silence on the other line for a moment.

"You're with Darien aren't you?" Mina asked.

"Yes." Serena sighed.

"Well I can't say I didn't see it coming. Just be careful this time. Who knows, maybe this time things can be different." Mina exclaimed with forced cheerfulness.

"I'm glad you have faith in me." Serena said.

"Of course I do! Well, since we are starting things off new again why don't we go out and celebrate? Meet you guys at Crown tonight?"

Serena couldn't help but smile. Mina was showing her support and faith, something many people didn't give to her anymore.

"That sounds great. Thanks Mina, for giving me this chance."

"We all have our demons Sere."

Serena laughed.

"See you tonight?" Mina asked.

"You bet."

She hung up the device and smiled brightly. She truly had a good friend in Mina. She looked at the slumbering man beside her. Things could be different. They could be different.

* * *

Later that evening…

"You about ready Sere?" Darien asked from outside the bathroom door.

"Just about. Give me a couple minutes." Her voice sounded from within.

Darien sighed. He never understood how it could take Serena so long to get ready when she was gorgeous to begin with. He ambled into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of scotch from the cabinet and a glass. Pouring himself a generous glass he took a sip. He had fucked up majorly last night. Serena thought that everything had been her fault, and that she deserved that shit he put her through. The thought tore at his soul. He may have fucked things up before, but this time, this time things could be different. He made a vow to himself to make sure of it. They could just be happy together, without the drugs and without the past. This was a new start, a new chance. The sudden thought caused him worry. That had been what Seiya had told him.

"_I'm giving you a chance."_

He didn't trust Seiya as far as he could spit. Somehow he knew that Seiya wasn't just about to leave them alone. The man was too vengeful for that. He frowned, his mind trying to figure out what Seiya could be up to. His train of thought went out window though as Serena emerged into view.

* * *

At the Crown…

"Hey!" Mina exclaimed as she raced towards the entrance and enveloped Serena in a bear hug. After releasing her friend she turned and embraced Darien as well. Darien gave a confused look to Serena over the top of Mina's head, but Serena only shrugged her shoulders.

"Come on, I've got us a table." Mina said as she led the couple towards the back of the club. As they sat down a waiter appeared and asked to take their drink orders.

"I'll take a cosmopolitan." Mina remarked.

"Ugh, I'll just have a Coors." Darien replied.

"Jack and Coke please." Serena sounded.

As the waiter left to retrieve their drinks Mina turned to face the couple. She could tell they felt uncomfortable.

"Look guys, I've known you both forever. I understand the feelings you have for each other. The past is the past, we cannot change it. Instead let's just have fun and give ourselves the benefit of the doubt." Mina remarked with a wink.

The waiter appeared with their drinks.

"Thanks doll." Mina flirted.

The waiter blushed furiously and nearly collided with another server as he left the table. Serena couldn't help but laugh. Pretty soon the trio of friends felt all the tension leave and they couldn't help but enjoy themselves.

It was well past closing time when the three friends stumbled out of the Crown. Serena and Mina giggled about almost anything, and Darien couldn't help from smiling. It was just like old times, when it wasn't about money or fame, only fun.

"You wanna stay with us tonight?" Serena questioned her friend.

"Nah, that cute waiter gave me his number, I think I'll meet up with him for a while." Mina winked.

"Just call if you change your mind."

"Will do. See you guys later." Mina replied with a wave as she turned back toward the Crown.

"So?" Darien asked as he pulled his lover tightly against his form.

"So what?" Serena giggled.

Darien whispered into her ear causing the petite blonde to blush.

She smiled and grabbed his hand leading them back towards her apartment.

"Shouldn't I at least grab some more clothes?" Darien asked.

Serena smirked up at him.

"I don't think you'll be needing any."

* * *

A/N: Kinda short, sorry about that! Thanks for the reviews guys, it is awesome!


	13. Chapter 13

There was a pounding and she couldn't tell if it was the door or the walls in her head.

"Ugh, I fucking hate Sundays." Serena groaned as she rolled her body out of her bed onto the floor. She didn't want to walk, that would take more effort than she wanted to give, so she crawled.

_Bang Bang Bang_

"Hold your fucking horses!" Serena yelled as she rose to her knees to open the door.

"Well, can't say this is the first time I've seen you on your knees. Although you're looking a little worse for wear Sere." Seiya smirked as he leaned against the doorway.

"Fuck you." Serena said as she allowed herself to collapse onto the floor.

Seiya frowned down at her. With a sigh he closed the door behind himself and picked up the mess of a girl and carried her to her sofa.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with a yawn.

"Checking up on you, although I would appear to be a little late in that department." Seiya frowned as he motioned to the fresh track on her arm.

She was too tired, and way to hungover to even bother feigned surprise at his remarks. She shifted her position and grabbed her cigarettes from the nearby coffee table.

"Where's Darien?" Seiya asked as he looked around the apartment.

Serena exhaled the smoke from her mouth before answering.

"He went to his apartment to get a few things."

"Huh."

"He won't be pleased to see you." Serena remarked while taking another drag from her smoke.

"I would say I was surprised, but you know how much I hate to lie."

Serena laughed. Every word Seiya ever said was probably a lie. That's why nobody trusted him, and it is probably why she found him so amusing. Sure, the man was fucked up in the head, but somehow he was so refreshing. He was cruel and malicious, the very own reflection of her own heart.

"I'm assuming from your current state that you haven't seen the news yet." Seiya said dryly as he examined his fingernails.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Seiya grabbed the remote control and flipped on the television.

Serena's eyes went wide as she watched the headlines flash across the screen along with the face of Raye.

"_Tonight we go more in depth with our interview with White Rabbit member Raye Hino as she tells us the unknown history between White Rabbit and Endymion. What really happened and what can we expect now that the two bands are holding a joint concert."_

Seiya watched the various emotions cross her face. Inwardly he smiled. Things were going much more to plan than he had originally hoped. He had given Darien a choice, but the self-centered idiot couldn't recognize the forest from the trees. It wasn't the choice of needles, it was the choice to tell Serena the truth.

"Well, I guess I better hit the road before Darien gets back. Don't worry Serena, what could Raye possibly disclose that can't be fixed?"

With that he left the stunned blond and walked out of her apartment.

* * *

She knew that there was no going back. During the interview Raye had disclosed some of the darkest secrets ever kept. She knew she couldn't keep Serena away from Darien, she had tried for years. Instead she did the only thing left in her mind. Serena would never forgive her, she only hoped it was enough that Darien wouldn't forgive Serena either.

"Gods forgive me." She cried.

* * *

Darien was about to leave his apartment when Kunzite and Jedite came barreling through the door.

"Darien, look at this!" Kunzite exclaimed as he pointed to the television screen that Jedite had turned on.

"…_so how many years has it been?"_

"_Not nearly enough, but two." Raye's face appeared as she answered the questions._

"_What happened that caused such a rift between you both?"_

"_Serena."_

"_Serena the lead singer of White Rabbit?" The newswoman asked._

"_Yes."_

"_What did she do?"_

"_She aborted Darien's baby."_

At that moment everything around Darien turned black. His friends looked up at him with shocked expressions. His knuckles holding his bag went white with fury. He turned on his heel quickly and slammed the door behind him.

"Fuck." Kunzite replied with a shaky hand running through his hair.

"We're all in deep shit now." Jedite remarked as he looked at the apartment door.

* * *

Serena's hands shook. How could she? Raye had just told the whole world her darkest and most important secret. Clutching the bottle she struggled to open the cap. Her frustration grew as she twisted and turned the plastic. Finally the cap sprung free and she poured the pills into her hand. She lifted her hand to her mouth to swallow but suddenly a hand shot through and slapped the contents away from her. She turned to see the furious midnight eyes glaring down upon her.

"Come with me." Darien said through clenched teeth.

"No."

"I'm not fucking around Serena!"

"Let me go!" Serena screamed as Darien grabbed her painfully around her waist and dragged her from the bathroom.

He dragged her until they were in her living room. He slammed her against the wall and pinned her arms over her head. His face was inches from hers.

"Something you want to say?" He asked, dangerously.

Panic swelled within her. She had never seen him this angry before. His grasp on her arms was downright painful and she knew that the tender flesh was already beginning to bruise.

"Get off of me." She said coolly.

"Not until you tell me the truth."

"Yeah? You first." She hissed.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You want the truth, well so do I!"

* * *

He hadn't gone out looking for her, but he found her sitting at the bar of the Crown. He approached her slowly.

"That was a rather courageous thing you did." He started. "Stupid, but courageous."

"Fuck off Jedite." Raye replied.

Jedite gave her a sympathetic smile before sitting next to her.

"Bartender, we need a couple of stiff drinks over here." Jedite sounded.

Across town Seiya was celebrating. Finally things were going his way, and this was only the beginning.

A/N: We are still a long ways from happily ever after ne? R/R please!


	14. Chapter 14

"Why?" He asked her.

"Does it really matter? I can't change the past Darien." Serena replied somberly.

"I want to know why."

"Fact of the matter is Darien I have no answers. There is no why."

He pulled away from her then and collapsed on the sofa.

"Because you hated me." He remarked.

"If that is what you want to believe."

He laughed darkly.

"What I want to believe?"

"Look, you want me to tell you some fucking story and I can't. Cause and effect Darien Hate me if you want, love me if you choose, I don't care." Serena replied as she rubbed her bruised arms.

"So you don't care about why I left you that night?" He remarked.

"Of course I care, but does it matter? What can possibly change? No matter what you say, truth or lie, it won't miraculously fix me like everyone seems to want."

He looked at her with confused eyes.

"Why do you think Raye did what she did?" Serena challenged.

"Fuck if I know."

"Does it matter?"

"Fuck Serena I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."

"And does it matter?"

"I… I guess not." Darien replied. "But then you demand the truth from me."

Serena laughed.

"You think I give a flying fuck about what people do or say? I don't give a damn about what you do or don't do. I care only about myself."

"You fucking liar! You don't care about anyone huh? You take all that heroin, because you don't want to destroy me as you say…

"I…"

"No Sere. You do give a damn. You can bullshit everyone else but not me. You gave up that baby for a reason. Don't try your mental mind games with me. Tell me why!" Darien shouted.

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"I didn't deserve it. That child would have had a fucked up mother, and no father. How could I do that?" Serena cried.

He watched as she collapsed onto the floor. Looking at her he could see the pain etched in every facet of her being as she sobbed into her hands. He moved to sit beside her on the floor and gathered her into his arms.

"I never wanted you to know."

"Why? Why did you keep it from me? I could have been there for you." Darien replied softly as she continued to cry.

"Because it was my choice, and I didn't want you to bear the burden of what I had done."

"Look at me Sere. I can't say that I'm not upset, but you need to give me a chance. Let me be a part of your life, let me share your pain."

"Do you ever have that dream where you are falling, and you just keep falling, never reaching the end, but hoping for it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I feel as if I keep falling. I've hurt so many people. Every time I think that I'll reach the bottom I never do. I just keep falling." Serena replied.

Darien reached over and grabbed her hand and kissed it gently.

"I'll fall with you and will reach the end together."

* * *

They sat there for a long while, sitting in their own pain. They had hurt each other deeply, and yet they were the only source of comfort they had.

"You aren't going to tell me what happened are you?" Serena asked. The couple was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

"No." Darien replied flatly.

"What happens if I find out?"

"I don't know."

Serena sighed. Scooting herself up she walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer, producing an unopened bottle of vodka. She looked at her distorted reflection against its cool surface. She opened the cap and drank heartily from its contents. She loved the burn as it went down her throat. Darien watched her from the living room as she downed the contents. She was so broken, so unbelievably broken, and so was he. He knew how she felt, knew that the only time you felt alive was when you were dying.

"I'm done trying." Serena's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?"

"I said I'm done trying. I've tried to be who everyone wants; its just not working."

"Nobody can live up to other people's expectations." Darien said as he pushed himself up and off the floor.

"I can't live up to yours either." Serena said.

Their eyes locked and he knew what she was implying. It was a warning.

"I'm responsible for myself Sere. Don't think you and your actions will direct my own."

She searched his stormy eyes. She didn't want this for him, he was better than that. She could only hope that he would recognize it for himself, before it was too late.

Her phone began to ring, signaling the end of the conversation.

"Hello."

"That fucking bitch. Are you alright Sere."

"Yeah Mina."

"I can't believe she would do something like that."

Darien watched as Serena left the room talking on her phone. He walked to the kitchen and picked up the remains from the bottle she had opened. He put his lips to the top and swallowed what was left. The bitter taste filled him.

* * *

They met Mina at the Crown.

"So, what should we do?" Mina asked as she downed another drink.

"What can we do? We got a fucking concert in less than a month." Serena replied.

At that moment a stranger appeared at their table. The bright flashes from the camera nearly blinded them. Darien reached out to try and grab the device from the paparazzo, but was having little success. Suddenly the flashes stopped and they turned to see Kunzite holding the cameraman by the neck.

"I suggest you leave." Kunzite threatened the man.

He looked at the trio sitting with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Kunzite." Darien spoke.

Without another word he sat himself at the table and motioned for a waiter.

* * *

"This one is locked too." Kunzite slurred.

After the closing time the drunken group stumbled out onto the sidewalk as they made their way towards Serena's apartment. Kunzite and Darien were amusing themselves by trying to open car doors along the way.

"Aha! I found an open one!" Darien exclaimed as he opened the door to a red car parked alongside the road.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked.

Her and Mina were currently leaning against one another so as not to fall.

Kunzite came running up to where Darien was standing.

Neither Mina nor Serena could see what the two men were doing. Kunzite suddenly broke into a fit of laughter.

"He's pissing in the car!" He cried out.

Darien closed the door of the car and smiled brightly.

"An autograph." He exclaimed.

Serena and Mina rolled their eyes at the antics as they continued to stumble to the complex a few blocks ahead.

The boys caught up to them quickly and Darien snaked his arm around Serena's shoulders.

"What possessed you to piss in that car?" Mina asked.

Darien only shrugged his shoulders and smiled while Kunzite chuckled.

Once they had arrived at their destination the laughter subsided and serious talk began.

"What do we do?" Mina asked.

"We don't have much of a choice. We'll do the concert and that will be the end of it." Darien replied.

"What about Serena's reputation?"

"I don't think Serena really cares about that do you?" Kunzite remarked.

The two stared at each other. They had never really gotten along. Theirs was more of a love hate relationship.

"Only as much as you ever cared about yours." Serena finally replied.

Kunzite smiled and reached over to snatch the bottle of rum from Serena's hand.

"Touché."

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it took me a while for this chapter, I think I re-wrote it like eight times. It has kind of an abrupt end, but the next chapter needed it.

I'm SO thankful for the reviews and comments I have received! You guys are so great and supportive even with such controversial material. ((Hugs))

See you soon!

Catchastar101


	15. Chapter 15

Her apartment was silent, and she reveled in it. Sitting at the breakfast bar she lit up another smoke as the lyrics flowed through her hand and onto the paper before her. At first she protested when Luna called that morning and told her to stay home, but then even Darien agreed that it was probably best. Everyone was worried what would happen between her and Raye.

Serena looked at the destruction in her living room. Empty bottles and trash were scattered throughout the space. A strange pain clutched at her heart. Memories she thought were long forgotten began to resurface.

"_Check this out!" Mina's voice sounded._

_Raye and Serena laughed as the bubbly blonde tried to do a handstand in the middle of the crowded living room._

_The three of them had only met that night, but strangely it felt as if they had known each other their entire lives. The music they played that night had been so effortlessly smooth. Afterwards Andrew invited them to his apartment for a party. The girls had still been underage to drink in the bar, but once at Andy's they were able to drink freely. _

"_I think we need to start our own band." Raye suggested, as she downed another rum and coke._

"_That would be awesome!" Mina exclaimed as she ran up._

She shook the vision from her head. Everyone expected her to be furious with Raye; the truth was she felt nothing at all. That realization had her swimming in her mind. She had expected some sort of reaction, anger, sadness, something, but she had felt nothing. Could she even consider herself alive if she couldn't feel?

She heard a knock sounding at her door before it opened revealing Seiya.

Seiya sighed as he glanced around the apartment before sitting on the couch. "Looks like you had fun last night."

She said nothing.

"It's all across the papers." He continued.

She shrugged her shoulders.

He came to stand in front of her grasping her chin and making her look at him. Her eyes would haunt him forever.

"So empty." He whispered. "So broken." For reasons unknown he felt his heart crack at the sight. "You don't have to do this." He pleaded.

Serena laughed darkly before she slapped him hard across the face.

"You disgust me. Did you think your little plan would work? You forget who you're playing with."

He watched as her eyes shifted and turned dark and cold.

"You caught me by surprise by using Raye, I'll give you that, but then again you underestimated me. Let me fill you in on a little something. The little white rabbit you knew is gone."

She pulled him roughly against her as she whispered into his ear.

"I would run away if I were you. People tend to get hurt."

He hated to admit it but at that moment he was terrified. She pushed him away and he scrambled out of the apartment.

She watched him leave and shut the door behind himself. With the sound of the lock clicking in place something clicked in her mind. She could feel the shift as if the sun suddenly disappeared from the sky. Rage began to flood her senses.

_It's your fault!_

The words echoed loudly in her head.

_You deserve it!_

_You'll bring everyone down with you._

_You'll destroy him._

_You'll kill him._

_You're to blame for everything._

She held her head tightly between her hands as she tried in vain to shake the thoughts from her mind.

Images of her friends flashed.

_They don't deserve the hell you've brought them._

The onslaught continued as the images flashed like a picture book. It was too much. Dropping to her knees she felt the remnants of her soul slowly pouring out of her body until she was laying there, an empty shell. Darien's face suddenly flashed before her. He would protect her. He promised he wouldn't leave her again. He forgave her. Gripping tightly to the thought she faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

He felt a sharp twinge in his heart.

"You alright?" Jedite asked.

"Fine." Darien bit out.

Artemis had called the members of Endymion down to his office early that morning.

"What the hell is going on?" Artemis demanded.

"We didn't do anything." Kunzite retorted. "It was Raye."

"Why? What would provoke her to do something so rash?" Artemis questioned.

"Me." Darien sounded.

"You?"

"Yeah. She doesn't want me around Serena." Darien shrugged.

"Jesus." Artemis sighed running a hand through his hair. "We can't afford this shit."

"What do you want us do about it?" Kunzite sounded.

"The whole world is waiting for a reaction." Artemis sounded as he looked straight at Darien. "The right kind of reaction." He added.

Darien's eyes narrowed at this.

"What do you mean?"

"You are going to have to address the issue and publically condemn her; making sure the public knows that you were completely unaware. You have to be the victim so to say."

"Victim?" Darien spat.

"It's the only option we have."

"You want me to humiliate her the day after her best friend does?"

"Her? Darien, you were the one who was humiliated." Artemis sounded shocked.

* * *

He found her sleeping on the couch, her shapely legs pulled up tight underneath her.

He hated himself.

He nudged her gently causing her to stir.

She opened her eyes to see him peering down at her. His eyes were so full of hurt. She reached up to touch his face but he pulled back. The simple action told her volumes. She dropped her gaze to her hands.

"Sere…"

"Don't." She said.

He picked up her small body and cradled her against his chest as he made his way to the bedroom. She didn't resist, rather she clung to him. He pushed her into the mattress as he covered her body with his own. With every caress he poured out his love and guilt upon her, trying to communicate the words that he could not say and hoping she would forgive him.

She could feel his emotions pouring onto her like a tidal wave. The onslaught was intense.

"One last time." Her heart sounded. "One last time."

Tears stung at her eyes.

She deserved this. How could she have expected anything less? She was destruction, destroying everyone in her path, no matter how much she tried to save them.

"One last time."

Tomorrow would come soon enough, and she would retreat back to the world where she belonged, hidden in the shadows.

* * *

She was gone by the time he awoke. Wearily he got out of the bed in search of her.

"Serena." He called out.

There was no response, only silence. He wondered where she could have gone. That's when he noticed the note on the kitchen counter.

_Darien-_

_I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, and everyone. It seems that no matter what I do the people I care about continue to get hurt by me._

_It isn't fair._

_The worst part is that you were the only joy I had ever found in my life, but my joy always resulted in your sorrow._

_Please, be happy. You deserve better than me._

_Yours Always,_

_Serenity_

She had signed it with her legal name. Something he knew she never did unless it was final. He felt the darkness close in around him.

How dare she? She was always doing this to him. Calling all the shots, making all the decisions. Did she even care how he felt? What he wanted?

His anger intensified, consuming him. He crumpled the note in his hand.

"Such a selfish bitch" he thought.

She had played him for a fool again. He swore it would be the last time.

* * *

He stormed into the venue, his anger seething around him like a black mist. He noticed that she wasn't there. Everyone else was sitting around the table, worried expressions on all their faces.

"Look, I've had enough of all this bullshit." Darien started. "We get this concert over with and then it's done. No more press conferences, no more interviews, nothing. I don't give a flying fuck about what the press has to say. We're going to do the concert and then we'll go our separate ways."

The table of musicians was silent.

"Oh, and one more thing, keep that bitch away from me." Darien added as he pointed towards the door where Serena's form had appeared.

* * *

A/N: SORRY for such a long wait for this update! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Still lots more to come!

Catchastar101


	16. Chapter 16

"Does anyone know what's going on here?" Jedite whispered towards Kunzite.

Kunzite only shrugged his shoulders.

"I feel like I'm in the fucking twilight zone." Mina uttered.

Everyone sat in silence. Nobody knew what to do. Just yesterday the two singers couldn't keep their hands off each other, and now they refused to be near one another.

Serena broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Luna, I think it would be best if we had a meeting at your office to discuss some things."

"Sure." Luna replied cautiously.

"Come on girls." Serena signaled.

Luna led the way as the trio followed her out of the venue leaving a stunned group and a very angry singer behind them.

"Do I dare ask?" Kunzite muttered up to Darien.

Darien's glare spoke enough for the guitarist to understand that it wasn't to be mentioned.

"Alright Artemis, what's on tap for today?" Darien spoke.

Without another word on the topic the band mates spent the day cementing their set lists, and working on set designs.

* * *

"Alright I need you girls to fill me in. What in God's green earth is going on here?" Luna screamed.

Serena sighed before replying.

"First of all let me remind you that I warned you something like this could happen. Secondly, you don't need to know the details other than Chiba and I cannot work together, or even be around each other right now. And Raye," Serena continued as she focused on her violet eyed friend. "It's not your fault. I know that Seiya put you up to that interview, he's tricky like that. As far as I can see you didn't do anything wrong."

"Excuse me? What about all the horrible press we've gotten since she paraded around on TV?" Mina stated, her anger evident in her tone.

"It's just media Mina, it'll pass soon enough. I'm not gonna lie, I'll probably get a lot of shit for it, but the point is it wasn't Raye's fault. She was only doing what she thought was right. So let's put the whole thing behind us." Serena replied calmly.

"So, what does this all mean?" Luna asked, still confused.

"It means that we put on a killer show, and the rest is history."

"What about Endymion? Can we trust that they will be keeping their mouths shut as well?" Mina frowned.

"I don't know. Artemis already had the band reply to Raye's allegations against Serena." Luna added.

"Don't worry about them, I've got a plan to keep things in our favor." Serena smirked.

* * *

"_Things between White Rabbit and Endymion seem to be heating up." _The news anchors voice sounded through the television_._

"_That's right. Just yesterday members of Endymion responded to the allegations that lead singer, Serena Tskuino had aborted the child of Darien Chiba, lead singer of Endymion. Nobody had seemed to have any inclination that the two had a previous relationship with one another, and fans are going crazy. In response to all this media circulating, members of White Rabbit have agreed to a sit down interview, something they have never done before. The interview is scheduled to air tomorrow night."_

"_I have to say Diane, I'm really curious as to the whole story behind all this."_

"_You and the rest of the world John. Hopefully tomorrow's interview will shed some light onto what really is happening."_

He shut the television off. What was she doing? Serena hated interviews; in fact she had never allowed an interview her entire career. Suddenly she was going to willingly participate in one? The thought gnawed at his gut. Something wasn't right. She had to be up to something, but what?

Darien's frown increased as he continued to wonder as to Serena's actions. Kunzite and Jedite followed their friend's pacing with their eyes.

"Would you stop pacing around like that? You're making me dizzy." Jedite complained.

"What are you so worried about anyway Dare? If anything she's just going to trash her reputation more." Kunzite commented.

"You can be a real asshole, you know that Kunzite?" Darien remarked.

"What?"

"I don't want her to get hurt." Darien replied.

"Jesus Darien. What the hell is the matter with you and that girl?" Kunzite yelled.

"He's right. One minute you guys are inseparable, and the next thing you know you're down each other's throats about one thing or another." Jedite added.

"I know, it's so fucked up, but I just… She's been through enough." Darien said.

"Whatever. That fucking bitch has put you through more shit than anyone else and you know it." Kunzite yelled.

"Stop trying to protect her." Jedite added.

Darien laughed darkly at the remark.

"That's the thing. She won't let me protect her." Darien sounded.

"What are you talking about?" Kunzite asked.

"Just forget it."

* * *

"Are you sure about all this Sere?" Mina's voice sounded on the phone.

"I really don't have much of a choice."

"But, this interview, you could destroy your reputation."

"It's a small price to pay Mina." Serena sighed.

"I'm just worried. I mean, you aren't the only one whose going to be judged you know." Mina remarked.

"I told you, I'll make sure to keep you and Raye out of it." Serena replied.

"I know. I'm sorry." Mina whispered in reply.

"Don't. Just get some rest and let me take care of things." Serena said with softness before ending the phone call.

She looked at the broken shards still lying amiss in her bathroom before picking a piece up and examining her reflection in the tiny piece of glass. She was about to expose herself to the world. All of the dark and hidden secrets she had kept locked inside of her heart would have to be spoken aloud. It was the only way she could save him.


	17. Chapter 17

The lights were hot upon her skin. She watched as the crew busily moved the various cameras and lighting around the tiny space. She took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten to ward off her agitation. All of the people scurrying around her made her feel uneasy, and dizzy.

"Ms. Tsukino?" A female voice sounded amidst the chaos.

Serena lifted her eyes to a petite woman with blue eyes that matched her tinted blue locks.

"Hi, I'm Ami Mizuno. I'm going to be doing our preliminary interview." She voiced again.

"Preliminary interview?" Serena asked.

"Yes. Basically I'll find out what questions should and should not be asked during the live taping."

"Kind of defeats the purpose don't you think?" Serena remarked.

"I…"

"Aren't journalists supposed to ask the tough questions, whether or not the interviewee wants to talk about such topics?" Serena continued, annoyance evident in her voice.

"This is media, not journalism." Ami remarked.

Something about the way the young girl said it caught Serena's attention.

"You don't like you job?" She asked the seemingly nervous girl.

"It's fine."

"You want to be a real journalist. Stuff like this isn't your style, is it Ms. Mizuno."

Ami looked at the girl sitting before her. On the outside, her appearance was almost frightening to her. Her long blonde hair was streaked with various colors, and pulled into the oddest hairstyle she had ever seen. She had several piercings on her face, and her outfit was outlandish, showcasing her figure and the various tattoos that adorned her body. Her eyes though were warm; friendly almost. She felt compelled to talk to the rock star.

"I went to school to be a journalist. I wanted to discover the truth, even the hard ones. Unfortunately there weren't many jobs available, so I ended up here."

Just then a tall brunette appeared.

"Ms. Tskuino, I'm Lita, I'll be doing our interview." She announced in a flurry.

"Actually, Ms. Mizuno here will be doing the interview." Serena replied, leaving a group of stunned reporters around her. She smiled. The chaos of activity had ceased for a moment.

Ami was sure her mouth was actually touching the floor. Had this girl just say that SHE was going to do the interview?

"But…" Lita began.

"It's either that or no interview at all." Serena remarked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I really don't feel comfortable…" Ami began.

"Don't worry Ames." Serena replied, already nicknaming the shy girl beside her. "Now, shouldn't we get started? I do have other things to do today."

The crew immediately went back to work on completing the set, and a furious Lita was already storming out the door.

"Why me?" Ami asked.

"I need your help Ami."

"What do you mean? What could I possibly do to help you?"

"I need the world to see the true me."

Ami thought that she could actually see tears forming behind Serena's eyes. What did she mean she wants the world to see the true her? She couldn't understand it, but she decided she would do her best.

"We're ready on set." Someone announced.

The flurry of activity stopped, and only Ami and Serena were left on the set.

"And we're on in 3…2…1…"

A/N: I know I haven't updated in FOREVER, and that this last chapter is really short, but I PROMISE, I'm back in the grove of things! Please R/R! Thanks everyone for your patience!

Catchastar101


	18. Chapter 18

"Ms. Tsukino, why did you agree to this interview?" Ami began.

"Normally I don't do interviews. In fact this is the first time I've ever allowed an interview." Serena replied.

"So why now?"

"I've taken great care to keep my personal life out of the spotlight. However there have been recent rumors and actions that have forced me to publically set the record straight."

"So you are addressing the allegations that your fellow band member made about you having an abortion of Mr. Chiba's child." Ami said flatly.

"Yes and no." Serena sighed. She lit up a cigarette without asking for permission.

Ami watched as the young starlet sat across from her. Her demeanor was cool and collected. Something that for some reason began to irritate her.

"Do you have something to say about the issue or not Ms. Tsukino?" Ami asked somewhat harshly.

Serena took a long drag from her smoke before she began.

"I did have an abortion, and yes it was Chiba's child. He however had no idea and did not find out until Raye made it public."

"Are you upset?"

"Not really. I don't carry regrets. I made my choices; the only issue is that I will not tolerate people using my actions to hurt others."

"So explain to me why we are sitting here if you are not going to deny the accusations against you, accusations that furthermore you have no sentiment about." Ami said.

"I didn't say I had no sentiment." Serena bit back.

"You just stated you had no regrets about you decision." Ami began.

"I don't. However, I do care how my personal life is causing pain for others."

"Do you mean Mr. Chiba?"

"Maybe. I'm not really sure how he feels." Serena remarked.

Something about the way she had said it caused Ami to soften towards the rocker. "Obviously this is a difficult thing for you. You are in the middle of preparing for a joint concert with Mr. Chiba's own band Endymion right?"

Serena nodded.

"How is it that all of this information began to surface now of all times?" Ami asked.

"I want everyone to understand, what has happened, what may still happen is not anyone's fault but my own." Serena stated, her head hung low.

"Then tell the world the truth. What happened and why is everything coming out now?"

"I met Chiba when I was seventeen years old. Long before either one of us had any success in the industry. Our mutual love for music brought us together, but then…"

"It's OK. Please, tell me, what happened?" Ami asked softly.

"I was obsessed with making it in the big league. I spent all my time writing music and practicing. It would drive everyone crazy. I spent so much time devoted to success that I began to ignore the needs of everyone around me. I tried to take a break, just go out to the bar or hang out with my friends and Darien, but I was always distracted. Then one night while we were bar hopping we happened to come across a live band…"

Flashback

_"Check it out! They have a band playing tonight." Mina chirped as she presented a poster to the rest of the group sitting at the table._

_"Star Lights?" Raye asked, reading the poster._

_"Never heard of them" Serena remarked before taking a sip of her drink. Darien's arm was flung casually around her shoulder. Absent mindedly she moved closer to his warmth._

_"Really? I've heard they are actually quite good. In fact they are said to be on the verge of landing a contract with some record agency." Jedite remarked._

_"Then why are they playing at some dive like this?" Serena remarked disgustedly._

_"It shouldn't matter where they play. Only that they play for the right reason; the music." Darien remarked._

_She was taken aback by his comment. Since when did she earn the right to judge another band based upon where they played. She herself was nowhere close to landing any prestigious gigs. Shit, she could only wish to land a gig somewhere other than Andy's place. The realization depressed her, and the urge to leave and work on perfecting her music was all but consuming her. In an effort to control herself she excused herself from the table to find the ladies room. It was a shabby excuse, but everyone bought it. She moved herself through the crowd. Several splashes of various drinks hit her as she tried to get passed the sea of people. Suddenly she felt like she was suffocating. Desperate she pushed with all her might towards the back exit. She threw open the door and gasped for the fresh night air._

_"Yo Blondie. You OK?" An unfamiliar voice sounded in the darkness._

_"Fine. There are just so many fucking people in there. It felt like I couldn't breathe." She replied._

_He laughed._

_"Glad you find me amusing." Serena barked._

_"You're cute. What's your name?"_

_"Serena."_

_"Serena. Nice to meet you. I'm Seiya."_

End Flashback

Serena stopped talking.

"Are you alright?" Ami asked, no longer aware of the camera's recording their every move. She was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, it's just… that was the point when everything went spinning out of control. Looking back on it always makes me reflect on how things could have turned out different." Serena replied.

"What happened?"

Flashback

_"So, you're not a fan of crowds." Seiya remarked._

_Serena gave him a dubious look that caused the dark-haired man to laugh._

_"Like I said, you're cute. Here." He said as he placed several pills into her hand._

_"These should help calm you down. I hear there's a great band playing tonight. Wouldn't want you to miss out because of a few people." He smirked at her._

_Before she could respond he had re-entered the noisy bar, leaving her alone outside with a handful of pills._

_She really didn't know why she took the pills. Perhaps she felt guilty about not hanging around with her friends and boyfriend. Maybe it was just plain curiosity. Nevertheless she plopped the pills into her mouth and with a quick swig of her drink still in her hand swallowed them._

End Flashback

"Those pills, they were like magic. All of a sudden I felt calm, happy even. I wasn't worried about my music or the crowd. It was as if every care just melted away." Serena finished.

Ami wanted to prod the rocker to continue. She was wrapped up in the story, but was afraid that if she spoke the story would end.

"After that night I wanted that feeling; that euphoria to never end. In short, I became an addict."

"But I don't understand? How does this have anything to do with the abortion?" Ami asked.

"Everything." Serena replied. "Look, can we take a quick break or something?"

"Yeah sure!" Ami replied quickly.

No sooner had the words escaped her lips that Serena was already out the door. She wanted to follow her, to make sure she was alright, but something inside told her not to.

* * *

She ran into the bathroom and bolted the door shut. Reliving those moments had been like ramming a steel knife through her heart. She banged her head against the door.

"What was I thinking?"

She clamped her eyes shut and placed her shaky hands against the cold steel of the door.

"How am I going to finish this?"

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another update. We still have a long ways to go with this story, but I hope you will all stick with me throughout this experience!


	19. Chapter 19

As she waited, her lean body positioned against the cool metal door she fought to catch her breath. She knew that she had to finish this interview. At the mirror she turned on the cold water and let it pour over her wrists. She could feel the weight of the several pills in her pocket. She had placed them there just in case, but she knew that if she took them that the interview would be destroyed.

Her hollow eyes stared back at her, mocking her distress. If anything she had to tell the truth; she wasn't a good person and nobody should desire to aspire to be like her, or with her. Poison to everything and everyone she touches, except her music, the only thing she could never fail at. If she failed at that then there would be absolutely no reason for her existence. With her courage renewed she exited the bathroom and returned to the interview room. The concerned expressions where etched upon everyone's faces. She ignored the pang of guilt that gnawed at her and returned to her seat, determined to finish this and fast.

* * *

Everyone was gathered around the television set anxiously waiting for the interview of Serena to air. The tension in the room was so thick that Darien found it difficult to breathe, at least that's what he told himself. Truth was he was terrified, not for himself but for her. She could be so damn stubborn, and she wouldn't hesitate to destroy herself without a second thought if she believed it was the right thing to do. It was what always drove them apart. He needed to protect her, love her always, and she would never allow it. "Shut up its starting!" Jedite sounded.

"_Ladies and gentleman we have a special broadcast for you tonight. Today we conducted an exclusive interview with the lead singer of popular band White Rabbit, Serena. She was quite candid and the following interview has not been edited in anyway as requested by Ms. Tskuino. Being such we must warn you that the following program contains some content that may not be suitable for all audiences." _The television blared throughout the small apartment.

"Shit." Darien thought. "There was no possible way anything good was going to come out of this situation." Just then her radiant face appeared before him on the screen. Her long white blond locks with various other colors streaked through floated around her. He could feel the instantaneous reaction he had whenever he saw her. It was instant desire. Even after years of exploring her every inch he was still drawn to her on a level that couldn't be put into words. His entire being quaked at the mere sight of her.

_"__I've taken great care to keep my personal life out of the spotlight. However there have been recent rumors and actions that have forced me to publically set the record straight." _Serena's melodic voice sounded throughout the room.__

___"__So you are addressing the allegations that your fellow band member made about you having an abortion of Mr. Chiba's child." Ami said flatly. _

_____"__Yes and no." Serena sighed. She lit up a cigarette without asking for permission. Ami watched as the young starlet sat across from her. Her demeanor was cool and collected. Something that for some reason began to irritate her. "__Do you have something to say about the issue or not Ms. Tsukino?" Ami asked somewhat harshly. _

Darien furrowed his brows at this point. What was this reporter trying to do?________

___________Serena took a long drag from her smoke before she began. "__I did have an abortion, and yes it was Chiba's child. He however had no idea and did not find out until Raye made it public." ______________"__Are you upset?" "__Not really. I don't carry regrets. I made my choices; the only issue is that I will not tolerate people using my actions to hurt others." "__So explain to me why we are sitting here if you are not going to deny the accusations against you, accusations that furthermore you have no sentiment about." Ami said. "__I didn't say I had no sentiment." Serena bit back. _

He could hear the desperation in her voice as she cried out. It as if he could feel the pain that must have been running through her veins. He should have been there with her.____________________

_____________________"__I want everyone to understand, what has happened, what may still happen is not anyone's fault but my own." Serena stated, her head hung low. _

As he continued to listen to her talk so openly and candidly he had the sudden realization that she was fading away. A deep cold settled into his bones. What would the world be like without her star shining in the sky? Blackness and emptiness would enfold everything.______________________

"At least she's finally taking responsibility for her actions." Kunzite sounded from his spot on the couch. The cold remark was more than Darien could take and before he knew it his fist connected with his jaw. "What the fuck!" Kunzite cried as he held his injured face. "I'm sick of you talking shit about Serena. You don't even know her!" Darien raged. "Are you sure you really know her that well?" He retorted. "I thought you hated her now?" Jedite asked aloud while scratching his head. "At least that's what it seemed like the other day at the venue." Darien glared at his band mates. They just couldn't understand. How could he expect them too? He almost laughed; Serena was always disrupting his life in some way. With a deep breath he willed himself to calm down. If she wanted to throw her life away like this he couldn't stop her, as much as he wanted to. He had his own future and career to worry about. There were so many people depending on him: the people at the label, the fans, too many for him to give it all up on a girl who would never receive him.______________________

* * *

They watched with tears in their eyes. Tears of hate, sorrow, and most of all fear. It was obvious now that Serena was no longer the girl they had once knew. She would give up everything including her own life and happiness for her music. Was that really the only thing she had to live for anymore? Raye was beyond furious. How could she have let this happen? The girl on the television, the girl who she considered her best friend, was no longer recognizable. "What will this all mean?" Mina whispered. "I don't know." Luna replied. "But the band…" Mina began. "It's obvious that Serena doesn't have any intention of leaving the band. If anything I bet she thinks we'll quit on her." Raye spoke. "Are we?" Mina asked.

A/N: Sorry about the format...it just turned out really weird and I tried to fix it the best I could. Hope you enjoy the continuation of this story! Love all the reviews I've been getting! Keep em' coming :)

xoxo

Catchastar101


	20. Chapter 20

As the world immersed themselves in her interview, Serena drowned her own self in the bottom of a scotch glass. She wasn't too fond of Scotch, but tonight its bitter taste filling her mouth was just the right medicine for her broken soul.

"Another" She signaled to the bartender.

He obliged and with a sad smile refilled her glass.

"In my experience while it may take your mind off things tonight, it isn't going to fix anything either." He spoke.

"I'm not looking to fix anything." Serena replied somewhat sarcastically, "at least something not worth fixing."

Again he smiled sadly at her before moving down the length of the bar towards another customer.

After tonight she didn't know what the future would hold for her anymore. The thought was what brought her here. She didn't want to think about tomorrow. She would feed her darker desires, forget about all the pain, and hopefully never see the sun.

With conviction she swallowed the contents in her glass before raising it above her head.

"Another."

* * *

"Her phone just keeps going straight to voicemail." Raye complained.

"Obviously today was hard for her. Maybe she just wants to be left alone." Mina casually replied as she flipped through her magazine.

"Can't you think about anyone other than yourself?" Raye accused.

Mina's gaze was fierce as she replied. "It's Serena that thinks only of herself. Can you imagine what this is going to do to our image? She's literally self-destructing Raye, and I for one am not going to let her pull me down with her like last time."

"Pull you down? What the hell has gotten into you? She's our friend. Fuck what the media says, the band is nothing without her anyways!" Raye shouted.

"Then you should fix this." Mina replied flatly.

"Me?"

"Well, it is your fault after all."

The room fell silent.

* * *

"Another!" Serena slurred at the bartender.

"Miss, don't you think you have had enough?" He asked her politely.

"Obviously not." She replied.

Reluctantly he poured her another glass which she eagerly took from his hand and began to down the contents.

"Trying to escape, so to speak?" A foreign voice sounded from behind her.

She turned her head to look at the stranger who dared to interrupt her solitude. He was striking and she worried for the briefest moment that her jaw had actually hit the floor. She regained control of herself before replying.

"Who the hell are you?"

The man laughed. The sound was rich and eerily familiar.

"It really has been a long time. Either that or the liquor is doing its job. You may remember me as Diamond."

Her eyes widened in the sudden recognition and her stomach lurched. Diamond, as he was known as, was the supplier to the stars. She had only met him in person a few times, but she knew him alright. She also knew that his being there meant big trouble for her.

* * *

"I already told you she's not with me and I haven't seen her in a while. She literally threw me out on my ass." Seiya sounded.

Raye had been trying for over an hour to find where Serena was. She had called Seiya, secretly hoping while all the while fearing that she was with him.

"Why should I believe you?" Raye demanded.

Seiya's sigh could be heard on the other end of the phone.

"Look, I admit I tried to get Serena for myself. I'll also admit to using you to spill her secret, but when I went to collect Serena made it perfectly clear that she would never be mine. I actually felt afraid for my life. That girl isn't the same anymore. Even I couldn't believe how cold she had become, and I pride myself on the ice around my own heart. Honestly Raye, even I'm worried, but being the bastard I am there's nothing I can do, well nothing I want to do. However, I guess I can make a couple calls."

"I would think it's the least you could do." Raye replied sharply.

"Right. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

"Thanks."

"I wouldn't hold your breath." Seiya replied before clicking off his phone.

* * *

"I must admit, that interview was pitiful." Diamond sounded as he took a sip of his drink.

"Sorry to disappoint." Serena sarcastically replied.

"When did you become so dull?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, dull. You used to be this amazing enigma. It wasn't just your voice, but your spirit. Risky, dangerous, alluring. Now you're doing candid interviews and drinking alone in this dump." Diamond replied.

"You are free to leave any time you wish, seeing as I'm so dull."

He laughed.

"That's more like the girl I know. Come on, I was just about to head to a party. You can be my date."

She was about to deny his offer until he spoke again.

"You may have had a crappy day, but I have never known you to let anyone or anything keep you from living out loud, or at the very least turning down a party."

He was right. She used to love living on the edge. It didn't matter who got in her way either, why was she so different now?

"Fine." She said as she picked up her purse. "But it better be worth it."

"With me Serena, every party is worth it."

The couple left, leaving their empty glasses on the bar and into the night.


	21. Chapter 21

He sat there, numb to everything around him. He felt so conflicted, torn in so many directions. He buried his face in his hands, trying to hide away from the emotions coursing through his body. Her face was burned into his vision. Her sitting there, answering personal questions, rarely flinching at the accusations thrown in her face.

This was more than he could take. He knew that she would destroy his career. There was no denying that fact after her revealing interview, but without him she would destroy herself. If he went to her, protected her, loved her like he wanted to then he would be turning his back on his friends and all the people whose careers were invested into his own success. There was no telling if she would even let him near. After their last fight he promised himself that he wouldn't put himself in that position again, but the thought of Serena having to bear all that pain, all of the shame on her shoulders alone was killing him.

* * *

The snow falling so peacefully mocked at the anxiety in her heart. Cold brilliant flakes drifted downwards in beautiful spirals. She took a deep breath, hoping to commit the moment into her memory. Even with the taste of alcohol still covering her breath she could taste the fresh winter air deep in her lungs. Without realizing she let out a sigh of contentment.

"Winter becomes you." Diamond said as he watched her walking alongside him.

"How so?" She asked.

"It's beautiful and yet so cold."

"You think I'm cold?"

He laughed.

"Certainly. You are frozen to the core." He replied, as if her question were ludicrous. "But that is what makes you so beautiful."

She scoffed at his remark.

"Lines like that never work on me."

"I know that. I wasn't trying to pick you up."

"Sure you weren't."

"Why would I? I've already tasted your sweetness." He remarked casually.

"Excuse me? When have I ever given you the time of day?"

"Never. I had to get you through other means." He replied.

"What are you talking about?" She fumed.

"You really don't know?" He asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"Know what?" She demanded.

"Darien…" Diamond started.

"What about Darien?" Serena turned on him, her gaze burning deep into his soul.

"I can't believe this. No wonder you put on such a performance." Diamond replied while shaking his head.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Serena yelled.

"What exactly do you remember about that night two years ago?"

Serena frowned.

"Why?" She asked.

"What do you remember?"

"Not much. All I really remember was waking up someplace I didn't know and Darien being gone."

"Jesus. That's it? Nobody seriously ever told you?" Diamond asked, his tone becoming terse.

"I've had enough of this, what the fuck are you talking about!"

"That night you and Darien showed up at one of my party's. You were both high as kites, but Darien came up to me and asked for another score. I told him it would cost him over a thousand dollars. Of course he didn't have that much money on him so I made him a deal. I would give him what he wanted if he returned the favor and gave me what I wanted."

Serena could feel the bile rising in her throat. Apart of her screamed that she shouldn't know the rest, but she had to.

"What was that?" She croaked.

"You. One night with you." Diamond replied, a thin smirk plastered on his face.

"Liar."

"I'm serious. He refused at first and actually tried to punch me, but he was so fucked up he missed. Then as I was about to walk away he stopped me." He watched as her eyes began to darken as he continued. "He said the only way he would agree was if I also supplied something that would make you not remember, or realize what was going on. So I gave him a couple pills to put in your drink and, well we both got what we wanted that night. By the time I was finished with you he had taken off."

She slapped him hard across the face.

"You bastard!" She screamed. "You sick, disgusting bastard!"

She continued to hit him as hard as she could but he effectively blocked her attempts.

"You wanted the truth so I gave it to you! I may be a bastard, but that lover of yours who you so gallantly protected on television is a great deal worse than I!"

She stopped suddenly. The realization hit her like a punch to the gut. Darien had pimped her out for drugs and left her, and she like an idiot went on national television and took the wrap for everything. People had thought she was the monster. Her fury and pain were so intense she could barely catch her breath.

Diamond watched as her emotions shifted through her eyes. He actually felt pity for the beauty before him.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Don't you ever say that to me again!"

"What?"

"That you're sorry. You know damn well that you aren't!"

Diamond shrugged.

"How many people know about this?" Serena demanded.

"Not a lot, but certainly enough to make things worse for you." Diamond replied.

Serena looked down at the snow covered ground, trying to grasp her spinning world.

"What should I do?" She asked in a whisper.

"Revenge." Diamond replied.

"Revenge?"

"Yes. We'll start by going to a party and taking your mind off things." He replied with a grin as he produced a small plastic bag from his pocket and waved it in front of her face. "No charge this time."

* * *

His stomach was twisted into knots. He couldn't get the image of her out of his mind. He leaned back into the cushions of his sofa, his guitar resting across his lap. He glanced out the window and saw the snow falling gently. His apartment was warm but still he shivered. Another swig of his whiskey and he closed his eyes, praying that her face would stop haunting him. It was another failed attempt. He opened his eyes and stared at the tattoo gracing his lower right arm. It was a picture of a small rabbit with a padlock around its neck. It symbolized her and his commitment to her. He was bound to her by forces that nobody understood. Cruel forces that brought them together only to rip them apart, like the tides of the ocean ebbing and flowing.

Another shaky hand through his hair and he set his guitar down and walked to the window. He was being torn asunder. His heart ached to hold her again, but he knew that doing so would destroy everything he had worked for. The band would fall apart and so would hers. They would have each other, but nothing else. Would that be enough? Would it be enough for her?

There was a loud banging on his door and he sighed as he went to let the visitor in. No doubt it was Kunzite here to lecture him again. He swung open the door and gasped when he saw Seiya standing before him.

"You son of a bitch."

"Excuse me?" Darien asked.

"You heard me. I can't believe you let her do that!" Seiya shouted.

"What Serena does is none of my business or yours." Darien replied.

"She just ruined her image and saved your sorry ass! It's disgusting. After everything you did to her!" Seiya continued. "I'm going to tell her the truth!"

A/N: Thanks for hanging in there with me with this story guys! It means a lot! Well, Darien's secret has been revealed... or has it? Muwahaha... Stay tuned! R/R Please!

xoxo

Catchastar101


	22. Chapter 22

Hello readers! Sorry about my hiatus… call it a loss of inspiration. However I am back and ready to get to work on my stories, both Dark Reflections and Hostile Takeover. So… here we go!

Whatever life she thought she could have had disappeared with Diamond's revelations. While the hope was tiny, it had remained shining until now. Shattered shards rained down upon her and she felt her knees give way underneath her own weight.

"Shit" Diamond exclaimed as he quickly reached down to catch the fragile blonde. "Get ahold of yourself!"

"Let me go." Serena whispered.

"What?!"

"Let me go!" She screamed.

Diamond complied and released her as she crumpled onto the sidewalk. For a moment he felt the guilt stab him for breaking her, but it passed as quickly as it came.

"Suit yourself." He remarked with a wave of his hand before continuing to walk down the darkened street towards his destination. "Pity" he thought. "She would have been fun."

She remained there, motionless. The passing crowds blurred and time became still. She felt her worthlessness in full force. "I'm only a voice." She told herself. "How could I believe I was anything more?" Memories flooded her senses. Her mother slapping her across the face… her father screaming… her brother crying, "it's all your fault! You are nothing! I wish you were dead!"…

"Congratulations Sammy… I've died." She cried.

They called her name as they looked for her through the streets.

"Serena!" Raye shouted.

"Sere!" Mina echoed.

They came upon her finally, a crumpled ball on the sidewalk.

"Serena!" Raye rushed to her. She turned her in her arms to scan her face. When she saw the tears staining her cheeks her heart cracked. In all the years she had known Serena she had never seen her cry. She thought she was incapable of the mere act.

"What happened?" Mina cried.

"I don't know. Let's get her home before someone else see's."

They picked their friend up and called a taxi. Carefully they placed her in the back. She stayed silent the entire time.

"He's done it this time. I'll kill him myself." Mina roared.

Serena shut her eyes hard and tried to drown out the world around her.

Darien was straining himself from punching Seiya in the face.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Darien shouted.

"You worthless piece of shit!" Seiya continued. Suddenly the sound of a text message rang throughout the apartment. Quickly Seiya glanced down at the incoming message.

FR: Diamond

RE: Rabbit

SHE KNOWS. CANT BELIEVE NOBODY TOLD HER. I THINK I BROKE HER. PITY. IF YOU STILL WANT HER YOU CAN HAVE HER. SHES PROBABLY STILL WHERE I LEFT HER. –D

Instead of replying Seiya tossed the phone at Darien. He read the message and fell to his knees.

"You deserve worse than this." Seiya whispered before leaving without another sound.

"Serena please talk to us. What happened?" Mina pleaded.

Serena looked into the pale blue eyes of her dearest friend. There was worry and fear inside. She knew instinctively that while Mina cared about her she was more concerned about her voice. If she didn't sing both Mina and Raye would be out of a job.

"Sorry. I'm fine really." Serena said.

"We found you laying on the street!"

"Sidewalk. You found me on the sidewalk."

"You know what I mean!" Mina shouted.

"Seriously Mina take it down an octave. I had too much to drink, that's all."

"Is that all?" Raye asked.

Serena knew what she meant. They thought she was using. Not that she blamed them. It wouldn't be the first time they found her incapacitated from almost overdosing. Suddenly anger filled her. It was a most welcome feeling. She knew how to live in anger.

"Fuck off! I'll sing so you two don't have to find a new job. In the mean time leave me alone. I'll do what I please. So long as my precious voice can make you money you have nothing else to worry about!"

"Serena!" Raye exclaimed.

"Fuck. Everything I do is wrong isn't it? I can't make a right decision to save my life? I'm sick of fucking trying to please everyone. I've done everything I could to make things right, but in the end I'm always to blame. Take my fucking voice to the bank and leave me alone. After this concert I'm DONE!" Serena shouted before jumping from the taxi and storming out into the darkened streets, leaving two mouth agape friends behind her.

He wanted to call her and explain everything. Instead he continued to sit on the floor, the phone resting in his limp hand. He had fucked everything up good this time. The image of her angelic face on the television pleading that everyone blame her and only her for everything reverberated in his mind. Somehow she was always taking the blame, even when it wasn't her fault. Surely he was the lowest life form in existence. If he tried to explain somehow things would only get worse. He would just have to get through this concert and spend the rest of his life paying for his sins someway, and then he would spend eternity in hell for the rest of them.

A/N: Short chapter I know, and WAY too long since an update, but I'm gonna try to keep them rolling out to you all. I hope you all find your way back to this story soon and stick with me xoxo –Catchastar101


	23. Chapter 23

She didn't know where she was going. She just kept walking down the darkened streets shivering against the cold as the snow fell around her. Before she knew it she found herself staring at the door of Darien's apartment. She needed to see his face. She needed to know if it was all true. Her heart slammed against her chest and hot tears streaked her makeup as she raised her hand to knock the door looming before her.

A quiet knock sounded at his door and instinctively he knew she was on the other side of the door. He stared at the door, afraid to see the angel he had so thoroughly broken. A woman he had loved so fiercely and betrayed beyond forgiveness.

"Darien?" Her voice was a mere whisper through the wooden door.

He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to love her. He wanted to touch every inch of her and take the pain away. Yet, he knew the only way to do any of those things was to let her go. As he slowly walked to the door he braced himself.

He opened the door and felt his very soul weep at the sight of her. She looked up at him with her tear filled eyes and trembling lips. He waited for her anger, her rage; instead she just looked at him, pain radiating from her.

"Sere…" He started.

"I'm sorry Darien." She cried.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobbed loudly. "I never meant to hurt you, and I… I'm the reason all of this has happened. What I did to you, what…what you did to me…I'm so sorry for it all." She could barely get the words out of her mouth.

He resisted the urge to grab her and fold her up into his arms. He could feel tears stinging at the back of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Why was she apologizing? Why was SHE apologizing?

"Stop, Serena." His voice cracked.

"I…"

"No. Just stop."

Their eyes locked and silently the truth poured out. They had done unspeakable things, become monsters, and they both hated themselves for it, but it was too late. They could never salvage the wreckage of what had been the deepest of loves, and the darkest levels of existence.

They had stood in silence for what felt like hours. Regaining her composure she looked at the man who had been her very soul. The man who haunted her dreams, who hurt her as much as he had pleasured her.

"After the concert, I'm leaving." She said flatly.

"Do you think this concert is even conceivable at this point? I mean, it's become a train wreck with this entire media frenzy, among other things." He responded, his eyes locked onto the floor.

"I want to do this. It's the final piece, one last moment that I can hold on to." She whispered.

He looked up at her then. The forced smile on her face and pleading in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. They needed to end it all, and this was going to be how. They would share a stage and never look forward.

"Alright."

"Thank you." She sounded.

With a deep breath she turned on her heel and walked out of the door, and shortly out of his life. At the last moment she turned back.

"I forgive you."

"I never will. I don't deserve it." He said, a sad smile gracing his lips.

She nodded in response and left. He watched her walk down the hallway until she was no longer in view before shutting himself into his apartment and breaking down. He sobbed into his hands, gasping for air as everything around him turned black and cold.

Luna paced frantically across her office. Raye had called her and said that they found Serena sitting on the street but before they could get her home she had stormed off and they had no idea where she was. She literally jumped at the shrill sound of her cell phone ringing. She snatched it off the desk and answered.

"Hello?" Luna sounded.

"Hey." Serena's somber voice sounded on the other end.

"Serena my god, where are you?!"

"At my apartment. I just got home."

"Are you alright? The girls they called and…"

"I'm fine Luna." Serena replied flatly. "The interview was just a little intense ya know? I've never done one before. I never wanted to be recognized for anything other than my music. But I think it will all be fine from now on. I'll be there tomorrow morning and we will finalize the set list alright?"

"Are you sure you're alright?" Luna asked concern evident in her voice.

"I'm perfectly fine." Serena replied as she looked at the small plastic bag she held in her left hand. "See you tomorrow." She hung up the phone before Luna could reply. She stared at the contents of the bag as she lay on her couch. All the lights were off in her apartment and the moon glowed eerily against the windows. She dropped the bag onto the coffee table, letting her tears fall once more, and for what she promised would be the last time.

"_Well folks, the attention and the drama continued to escalate between the bands White Rabbit and Endymion last night. More and more information comes to light about the alleged past and current relationship of lead singers Serena and Darien." The news anchor's voice sounded as images of Serena and Darien flashed on the television._

"_That's right. Last night in her first ever public interview Serena of the popular band White Rabbit candidly spoke about her past relationship with Darien Shields, and more astonishing her problems with addiction. People have begun to wonder if this joint concert will even occur due to all the bad press both bands have incurred over the past month. Representatives from both bands however have stated that the concert will take place as planned and that all band members are working hard to ensure that their fans receive an amazing show. No mention was made of the relationship status of the band members, but we can only assume it has got to be rather tense."_

Serena clicked off the television.She pinched her brow and closed her eyes tight. She was going to have to get through this. Nobody knew about what had happened last night; Diamond's confession and her exchange of words with Darien; at least not that she knew. Darien may have told his band mates, but she doubted it. Today she would put on a brave face and pour herself into the music. If this was going to be her last concert, it was going to be her best.

A/N: Another update! I've missed writing this story, and I'm so glad I'm falling back into it. I've had to re-read it several times to get back on track so I hope things are feeling somewhat smooth and not too jumpy as we continue on. XOXO for the R/R's! Keep em coming!


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